When They Fell
by mymarlena
Summary: We learn to fight our demons on our own. - NextGen. LilyCentric. Being finished by ATLpaintingflowers.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or places that you recognise. Everything belongs to JK Rowling, no copyright infringement intended. Let's begin.**

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><p><em>"<em>_But if that's how it's gonna leave _

_Straight out from underneath _

_Then we'll see who's sorry now _

_If that's how it's gonna stand, when _

_You know you've been depending on _

_The one you're leaving now."_

-Leave by Matchbox Twenty

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><p>In a small house in Godric's Hollow in 2004, a man kisses his wife goodbye as he steps into the fireplace. She smiles and rubs her swollen belly, and waits eagerly for his return.<p>

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><p>In a small house in Godric's Hollow in 2006, a man kisses his wife and son goodbye as he steps into the fireplace. She smiles and rubs her swollen belly before turning to her young son, who is flying madly around on a toy broomstick, his black hair flying out beside him. He comes to an abrupt halt as his broom collides with the coffee table. He falls instantly, landing softly on a pillow that Harry had enchanted to follow his son around every time he flew. He starts to whimper as Ginny picks him up and softly calms him. "Just like your father," she mumbles, a small smile on her lips.<p>

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><p>In a small house in Godric's Hollow in 2008, a man mutters enchantments as he holds his wand high above his head. A woman appears beside him, a toddler holding onto her arm and one hand on her stomach. "We don't need that," she shakes her head.<p>

"Precautions," he shrugs. As the number of escaped death eaters climbed, so did Harry's anxiety levels. He puts his wand back into the pocket of his jeans and picks up his son. The infant plays with his father's glasses. Ginny gives him a sympathetic smile.

"Are you going to come inside?" she asks. He sighs dramatically and puts his arm around her. She smiles and takes hold of it.

"My girl," he proclaims, leading her inside with a crazy grin on his face. He inhales like he'd never smelt air so fresh. "And my girl," he says to her stomach. Ginny laughs and leans into him, blissfully happy.

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><p>In small house in Godric's Hollow in 2010, a frustrated woman smacks her lips together as she pulls a sweater onto her oldest son. He writhes under her stubborn grip. "James!" she cries in annoyance.<p>

"It's not cold!" he shouts back, pulling the jumper off again. He runs from her, plowing onto the couch and hiding in the pillows. His shout wakes the sleeping girl in the next room, who Ginny had hoped would sleep for a few hours after James went to school. Instantly, the baby starts to cry. Angrily, she balls up the jumper and throws it at James. It lands on the floor by his feet. She heads to the nursery and pulls Lily out of her crib. Harry appears in the doorway, fastening his tie.

"Don't you want to help me?" she cries at him, roughly bouncing the baby in an effort to calm her. Harry looks at her, shell-shocked, and nods. It was not a time to argue. With ease, he coaxes James into his jumper and hands him his bag. Ginny waits at the door, still in her nightgown, with one child on her hip and the other pulling at the hem of her nightgown. Al waves as he watches them walk away, but Harry doesn't turn back. Then they are gone, leaving Ginny to get through another day alone.

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><p>In a medium-sized house in Godric's Hollow, in 2012, a chattering family all sit around a large table. Discarded wrapping paper decorates the table and young children run around each other, comparing gifts. A Christmas tree decorated with live fairies sits in the living room, lighting up the room. Ginny comes in with the chicken, knowing it's Ron's favourite, and places it on the table in front of her brother.<p>

"Yum!" George gasps, reaching over and grabbing a leg. Ron smacks his hand away, grinning devilishly.

"Really, Ron?" Ginny rolls her eyes, taking a seat next to Hermione, across from her husband. Neither of them look at each other. Smelling the chicken and the other food the house-elves were bringing to the table, the children barrel towards them. Teddy grabs Lucy before she gets swept up in the crowd of older children as Lily climbs onto her father's lap.

"Can I have some of that?" the little girl asks, pointing a finger at the ham.

"Please," Ginny scolds, shooting a look at Harry.

"Please?" Lily repeats, twisting herself to look up at her father. Harry puts a small slice on a plate and cuts it up.

"How did everybody like their jumpers?" asks Mrs Weasley, beaming at her family. Everybody nods and mumbles words of encouragement.

"Great, Mum," Bill nods. Percy and Audrey smile awkwardly. Despite the fact that Mrs Weasley had been knitting since the start of the year to make one for all 24 of them, Percy hadn't worn his. He's still haunted by the mistakes he made as a young boy, always feeling out of place. It's why he never offers to hold Christmas at his own house.

"Yeah, thanks Mum," George says, handing his children theirs. They slide theirs on with much less of a fight than James had put up. Ginny purses her lips and fills Al's plate with food. He pulls a face.

"Eat it," Harry warns, sensing some rude comment from Albus. He's a sweet kid, but he's stubborn. Al looks at him and scrunches his nose.

"I don't like it," he mumbles. The blood rushes to Ginny's cheeks. She busies herself cutting up his meat. By this time, the whole table has gone silent and they all have their eyes on the family at the end of the table.

"Eat it, Al," Harry demands. "You don't want to see mummy mad, do you?"

Wrong move. Ginny shoots knives at Harry with her eyes and shakes her head at him. Al says nothing and takes a small bite of a potato. Harry gulps; he'd stepped into enemy territory.

"What?" he mouths at his wife. She clenches her jaw and shakes her head at him.

"We'll talk about it later," she mouths back. Ron exchanges a _what was that about? _look with Harry, and the looks Ginny got from the table could have sunk a ship.

_"Well?"_ Harry asks as he shuts the door to James's room, having just put him to bed. He follows Ginny down to the living room, out of earshot of the children. The fairies have died down and are sleeping among the branches. Harry makes a mental note to put them back in their cage.

"What was that?"

"What was what?"

"You know perfectly well, don't play dumb with me!"

The bullets start, fired and dodged. Every comment is like ice. Aimed to hurt. Slowly, their voices climb, until they're screaming at each other across the room. Teddy grabs onto Lily's hand to stop her from running down the stairs as they watch through the railing. They can't see much, but they never really want to. Al swallows.

"Are they going to get a divorce?" he whispers to his brother. James goes pale. Teddy doesn't answer for a long time.

"Let's go to bed," he deflects, standing up and pulling Lily with him. "It'll be over soon."

"Can I sleep in your room?" asks Al. Teddy presses his lips together, listening to the war below.

"Yeah, sure buddy." He picks up Lily, who's slowly starting to fall asleep as if the yelling was just rain on a window, and led them to his room. As the boys fall asleep, Teddy stays awake and listens to every word.

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><p>In a large house in Godric's Hollow in 2014, a blue-haired boy leans over a picket fence to lock lips with a blonde girl. She pulls back, giggling.<p>

"This is like incest," she laughs.

"Don't think about that," he winks, leaning in and stealing another kiss.

"Don't you have to be somewhere?" she asks, running her fingers through his hair.

"I packed yesterday," Teddy reminds her.

"Oh, right. Mum keeps asking me to pack, but I can't be bothered," she laughs. He chuckles.

"You have ages." He leans in for another kiss and doesn't break away for several minutes.

"TEDDY!" James shouts. Teddy turns around to see James hovering a few feet above the ground on his broomstick, an annoyed expression on his face. Technically, he isn't allowed his own broomstick; he'd stolen this one from his mother since she was out.

"Coming, buddy!" he calls back, and turns around.

"You've been summoned," Victoire smiles.

"Unfortunately." He pecks her on the lips again and walks backwards towards James, waving as he does so. Victoire laughs and walks away.

"Will your mum be mad?" Teddy asks as he opens the chest of Quidditch balls. James shrugs.

"Who cares? Let's do this!" He claps his hands together and as he does loses his balance. He quickly grabs his broom handle to steady himself.

"Don't kill yourself," Teddy warns, and releases the snitch. It soars through the air, catching light on its wings. Teddy keeps one eye on James and the other on the gate, careful not to be caught. Harry had a problem with them playing Quidditch in the garden when they weren't home.

Teddy smiles as he watches James try to catch the ball without nearly enough speed. Had _he_ been on the broom, it would have been different.

Suddenly there's a crack behind him. Teddy spins around to see Harry appear just at the top of the road. He always apparates away from the home in case he was being followed, even though he doesn't hide the house.

"Shit," Teddy mumbles to himself. He whips his head around. His heart hammers in his chest. "James! JAMES! COME DOWN!" He booms. James turns around, shocked, and looks at Teddy in a panic. Harry's now only 40 feet away and frowning at the scene that he can barely make out or understand. As James tried to come down, he loses his balance. Suddenly he's in a tailspin that he had never learnt to pull out of, heading towards the ground. Teddy screams his name. Harry, now closer and able to see what was happening, breaks into a run, screaming James and Teddy's names. Fear written all over his face, James shuts his eyes and heads towards his fate.

_"James!_ James! Where is he?" Ginny demands, barging through the doors of the Artefact Accidents ward, eyes alight as she looks around madly. Finally she spots her family and storms towards them. Harry sees her coming and swallows. She stops in front of them, hands on her hips. "How DARE you?" she shrieks at Harry.

"Gin, we're in a ward. Let's take this somewhere else-"

"Don't you _Gin _me! How dare you let your son ride around on a broom without anybody watching him-"

"Well, I was," Teddy interjected, but the look Ginny shot him shut him up.

"I am so mad at you right now. How could you? He's your son, Harry!" Ginny cried.

"Really?" Harry asks sarcastically. "I had no idea! Thanks for informing me!"

Teddy taps Al's shoulder and nods at the door. Holding Lily's hand, he guides them out of the war zone and up to the tearoom.

"Tea?" he offers Al. The boy shakes his head. Teddy puts his hands on his knees awkwardly. "James will be fine," he consoles the silent Al. Al just nods and looks around at the other visitors. One man has his arm in a sling, another has blood dripping down his neck. An elderly woman has boils all over her face. Al wonders why they aren't in their beds. The room is warm and cosy, with canvas hanging from the ceiling to make it look almost Egyptian. It's light colours, all red and yellow and pink. Much too girly for Al's taste.

"Not very appealing, is it?" jokes Teddy. He's doing his best, but Al doesn't seem to take to anything he says.

"They'll be OK," Teddy sighs after many long, awkward moments.

"You think?" The first words Teddy had heard Al say all day.

"Yeah, of course," Teddy says. "It's a phase. Everybody goes through it."

It's a lie, but it seems to calm Al. He smiles. "Maybe I will have that tea."

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><p>In a large house in Godric's Hollow in 2015, a young girl curls up under the covers of her bed. It's too quiet tonight. There's no screaming. The world's asleep, and Lily doesn't like it. She hears creaking on the landing outside her bedroom and curls tighter, pulling the covers up under her chin. A streak of light crawls under her door. What time is it? Too late. Or too early, depends on how you think of it.<p>

She's awake. She listens. She hears. She remembers. She does nothing.

Her door creaks open. She keeps her eyes closed. Is it a killer? She's not scared. She wants to be taken. But it isn't a killer; she knows those footsteps. They're light, careful, quiet. They're her mother's. What's her mother doing at this hour? She doesn't stir. Her heart hammers. Like when she used to play hide-and-seek, she suppresses the urge to move. Giggle. She focuses on her breathing. Keeping it quiet, measured. She feels her mother come closer. Her breath tickles her cheek, the smell of her hair wafts into Lily's nose. She wants to reach out and wrap her arms around her mum. She doesn't.

Soft lips press lightly against her cheek. Lily doesn't move. It's too late for a goodnight kiss - what's going on? "I love you, baby," her mother whispers in her ear. Lily's breathing falters; Ginny hesitates. Lily controls her breathing again, and listens to her mother's. A moment later, she hears the footsteps start again, getting softer and softer. Her door creaks shut. Silence.

Something's wrong. Something is awfully, awfully wrong. She shuts her eyes tight and presses her face into her pillow and sobs. _Please, _she begs silently. _Not now. Not yet. _But the only answer she gets is silence. Yet it seems to answer every question.


	2. Play With Fire

**Chapter 1: Play With Fire**

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><p><em>"<em>_She didn't have a reason to go, oh no_

_She didn't have a reason to stay_

_Either way, she didn't tell anyone_

_By the first ray of sun, she looked at her keys _

_And found a reason to run_

_And time stands still when you're nowhere bound."_

- Drive All Night by Taylor Swift

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><p><em>2023<em>

A small cottage in Godric's Hollow stood rather secluded in outskirts of the town. The nearest cottage was only a field away, but seemed further. It belonged to her aunt and uncle, and it was where Lily often spent most of her summer, lying on Hugo or Rose's bed, reading Witch Weekly while Rose read or cleaned, or Hugo ranked the girls in their year for attractiveness. It was also where Lily longed to be at that moment, as she spooned a small mouthful of cereal into her mouth while her father silently read the paper across from her, a small crease between his eyebrows, his lips a thin line. The usual noises of the bustling home were somewhat absent, though the clatter of the dishes washing themselves and the tick of the clock still remained.

Lily grabbed her finished plate and put it in the sink just as Al came into the room for his own breakfast. He passed his father a smile as he helped himself to cereal. "Anything new?" he asked. Lily watched him, her eyes slightly narrowed, from the sink. Al adored his father, so much that it was almost sickening, the way they got along. Everything about him screamed _fake. _

"Do you even care?" she shot at him spitefully. He turned and looked at her, returning her hateful glare. He didn't seem surprised by her hatred, but she hadn't expected him to be.

"Of course I care," he said. "Unlike you, I actually have an interest in things other than myself."

"Do you? Like what, snogging Elizabeth Coldon?"

"Elizabethwho?" Harry asked, looking up from his paper at his son. Al went red, though from rage or embarrassment, Lily didn't know. She turned to her father and smirked.

"He doesn't even like her, he's just going out with her because he thinks she'll introduce him to Sarah Hartman. Isn't that where you've been sneaking off to at night? To try get a glimpse of her taking off her shirt, you little creep?" She turned back to her brother. His fists where clenched and his face was redder than before. At least, now she knew it was rage.

"Shut up, Lily," he said.

"Mwah, mwah, mwah," she teased with kissing noises, crossing her arms and pouting her lips at him. "Oh Sarah, mwah!"

"Lily, shut up!" he shouted, and in an instant he had pulled out his wand and was pointing it at her dangerously. At the same time, Harry put his paper down and stood up, ready to intervene, though he seemed confident that nothing would happen. Lily didn't flinch, but eyed the wand with caution all the same.

"Are you going to hex me?" she asked indifferently. He glared at her and she glared at his wand, as if the sheer intensity of her stare could make it burst into flames. This seemed to Harry like a good time to intervene. The newspaper article must have been particularly interesting, because he was rarely this inattentive.

"Al, put your wand down, and Lily – stop provoking your brother. Honestly, it's lucky you two aren't in the same house at school. You'd set the place on fire."

She was defeated – with a furious glance at her father, she spun on her heel, her hair flying out behind her. "I wouldn't mind setting _him _on fire," she mumbled as she headed up the stairs.

This didn't seem to deter her father at all, who sat down again and picked up the paper, his job apparently over. However, a moment later, he checked his watch and stood up abruptly. His eyes flickered to the window as he downed the contents of his goblet and folded his paper. "Mail!" he said as two owls appeared on the horizon, their destination obvious.

Not entirely forgiving, Lily lurked at the top of the stairs. Her need to see the Hogwarts letter overcame her anger, and she waited. Al too looked to watch the owls fly closer and closer to the window. He sipped his own goblet curiously and then rushed to let the owls in. Two spotty brown owls flew into the house, landing on the table. Al gently pulled the letters from their legs and threw Lily's aside. As she made her way to the table, her father handed it to her.

"I have to go to work," he said. He pulled on his traveling cloak. "So I'll see you tonight. Be good, ok? No more fighting." He placed a quick kiss on the top of her head, as she stared hard at her letter. She had not forgotten what came at the beginning of fifth year. From the look her father gave her as he walked away, she gathered that neither had he.

As soon as the flames engulfed him, Lily sprinted upstairs and into her room. She threw herself onto her bed and dropped the letter in front of her. She didn't want to open it, but at the same time, knew she had to. She engaged a good minute of staring, her heart thumping hard, her fingers tracing her name in the careful writing. She was almost ready to open it when a shout came from downstairs, causing her to jump.

"YES!" Al cried. There was a series of excited thumping, followed by another gleeful exclamation. A moment later, she heard footsteps and her door flew open. Al beamed at her, his eyes alight with excitement.

"What?" she asked impatiently. He was clearly bursting to tell her.

"Head boy," he said simply. Then, with a smirk, he shut the door.

Lily let her head fall onto her covers. _Fuck, _she thought. Head Boy. He was going to be able to boss her around, take points, do whatever he wanted…

Suddenly she felt dreadful. She picked up her letter again and tore it open viciously. Two letters fell out of it. Her heart hit the floor.

She read them anyway: one was the usual reminder that she had to go back to school on September first, and the other was the booklist. Nothing else. She put them both on her bedside table and turned onto her back.

Her room, as always, was obsessively neat. A single poster of the Dress-Robed Dragons smiled above her bed; they were a new band that she had loved since she was a child. There was no mess anywhere; in the corner, her clothes were neatly packed in their trunk, and the rest stored away in her wardrobe. Books were organized alphabetically on her bookshelves (Rose's doing – Lily wasn't _that _compulsive). A clean litterbox sat on the floor near her trunk for her cat, Meredith, who had spent most of the summer in the field, lazing around, only making the occasional appearance. On her bedside table were a collection of pictures, though she rarely looked at them. There was one of her grandparents on her father's side, another of Granddad and Grandma Weasley, one of all the cousins, one of her, Hugo, Rose, James and Al, one of her and Teddy, one of her, her brothers and her father. Beside her bed, there was a gaping hole where the last one was: a picture of her and her mother. She had long since thrown it into the fire, but still remembered every detail. It was night, gathering from the darkness in the window behind them, and Lily was sitting on her mother's lap as a small toddler, pointing to a picture book on her lap. Her mother was putting on expressions of surprise or pride or whatever else was appropriate for a mother when her child can correctly identify the colour blue. Occasionally she would look up and smile at Harry behind the camera.

There was a sudden commotion from downstairs and Lily bolted upright, listening hard. Soon enough, she heard coughing, followed by a "Hey Al! Lily here?"

Her stomach dropped to the core of the Earth. Hugo would have gotten it… Hugo would have assumed she'd get it… He'd be here to celebrate with her…

Sure enough, Lily heard the familiar footsteps making there way up the steps. She grabbed a pillow and threw it over her head as the door flew open.

"Lily?" Hugo asked. She groaned. Footsteps again, and then her bed bounced as he sat down. He grabbed the pillow and pulled it from her face. His crazy smile was the first thing she saw, his head surrounded by a mass of red curls. She aimed a kick as he pulled the pillow out of her reach, but he dodged. "Did you get it?" His blue eyes were alight with the same excitement she had seen in Al.

Hugo had been her best friend her whole life. Him and Rose, really, though nowadays Rose had different interests. That was probably the plus of having your parents as best friends. He was really the only person she could trust with her life. The only person she almost always wanted to see. She loved him, he loved her, and that was that. He always loved her.

"No," she mumbled. He tapped her side and she moved over to let him lie next to her. She huffed as he did so. "You did, I'm guessing?" But she didn't want to hear it. He just nodded. The smile was gone.

"Rose didn't get Head."

"Bummer," Lily said, but she hardly felt bad for her. Rose had gotten prefect, at least. "Al did."

This grabbed Hugo's attention. He turned his head to the door, like he wanted to go and talk to Al, but Lily grabbed his arm, holding him back. He lay back down, and they lay in silence for a moment, staring at her ceiling.

"Where are your parents?" she asked quietly after a while.

"Work," he answered. "They don't know," he added, answering her unasked question.

She nodded thoughtfully. "Do you plan to tell them?"

"Of course," he said. He turned his head to look at her, and she kept her gaze on her ceiling. "Are you?" he asked quietly. She didn't answer. She just stared. She imagined the best way to put it. She imagined the shame on his face. The only Slytherin in the family. Now the only child in the whole Weasley-Potter clan who had not achieved prefecture and that was saying something. She suddenly felt a deep yearning to be alone. She turned on her side, away from Hugo, and stared at the wall.

He tried to see around her face to get a glimpse of her, but the wall was getting less and less interesting, so she turned back to the ceiling and exhaled dramatically. "I might," she shrugged casually.

"Yes, you will," he said. He sounded so sure of himself; she was tempted to slug him.

"What makes you so sure?"

"How can you hide it?" he retorted. "It'll be fine. Do it quick, like ripping off a band-aid."

She got a glimpse of him out of the corner of her eye and saw he was biting back a smile. "If it's so easy," she said lightly, "you do it. On that note, have you told your parents about your -"

"No," he said curtly, cutting her off. A dark shadow had passed over his face, and he looked stony. Lily pulled herself up.

"Well, I'm not going to sit here and mope. Where's Rose?"

Hugo glowered. "Home. _He's _there."

"Oh." _He _referred to Scorpius Malfoy, Rose's newfound love. It wasn't really newfound – they'd been flirting all the previous year – but it was new to Lily, who had only ever known Scorpius as her brother's git of a best friend, who had never been anything but rude to her and her cousins. Rose included. The sudden turnaround had thrown both Lily and Hugo off their feet when at the end of sixth year, Rose suddenly decided he was worth her time. Hugo hated him, hence the reason he was always over at the Potters. "That rules out your place."

Hugo didn't offer a suggestion, and the two of them sat in silence, contemplating their next move. There was nowhere to go, nothing to do. But while Hugo sat and contemplated how they should spend their last week until school, Lily's mind was back at how she was going to avoid the inevitability looming ahead.

They passed the time with exploding snap, wizard's chess, and gobstones. Al joined for a bit, and then promptly disappeared – Lily had a pretty good idea of where he had gone to. By the time night had fallen and Hugo had to go home, Lily half begged him to take her too. He had denied her the honour, apologizing meekly. As he made his way across the field back to his own home, Lily glared at him. It wasn't until she felt something furry slip past her that she shut the door and picked up Meredith, her small brown cat that she had gotten when she was 11. It purred at her touch as she sat down on the couch with it, patting it softly. Her father would be home in a few hours. She wasn't surprised to see her hands shaking.

She hadn't realized how long she had been sitting there, doing nothing but petting a cat, until the door opened. Lily jumped, clinging to Meredith, who tried to jump off her lap. But it wasn't her father. It was James. He flicked his hair out of his eyes as he entered the house, a lopsided smile on his face.

"Hey!" he greeted cheerily to his sister as he shrugged off his cloak.

"I thought you weren't coming home tonight," she said. He threw himself onto the couch beside her.

"Change of plans," he said. As he spoke, he ran his hands over his face in exhaustion and frustration.

"Tough day?" she asked sympathetically.

"You have no idea," he mumbled. "Where's Al?"

She shrugged. "Dead, probably," she joked, though there was no sign of humour on her face.

"That's a terrible thing to say."

She didn't say anything else, for fear of being scolded again, but it seemed she didn't need to: a moment later, the person in question descended the stairs. He looked as excited as he had in the morning when he saw James. He was never one for subtlety. He quickly told James the news.

"The letters came?" James asked when Al had finished his recount of how he had opened the letter and seen it written there, his surprise to see the badge, his excitement when he had realized what it meant, his emotional journey of coming to terms with it. The way he spoke, it was like he had become Minister for Magic or something.

"Yep," Lily said shortly.

"That's great. Anything new for you, then?"

"No."

"That's OK. We can't all be –"

"Don't." She had said it in such a small voice, she hardly heard herself. It was no surprise that he hadn't heard either. As Al settled himself into the armchair beside them, fingering through _Which Broomstick?, _James continued.

"- prefect. I mean, it's great and all, but they make it sound so much better than it is. I almost regret getting it now, I didn't even need it. You won't need it. Think of it as a load off your back. You can still be Head, can't you? I mean…" James continued, though Lily was no longer listening. Every word felt almost like an ache. She regretted telling him. All she wanted at that moment was to be as far away from anybody as possible, which was rare.

"Yeah, I know," Lily snapped finally when he started going on about how terrible the Prefects' bathroom was.

"Sorry," he said, and stopped talking. For no real reason, she felt suddenly rather exhausted. Too many emotions for one day. She closed her eyes and lay her head on her brother's shoulder. Telling James had been hard, but not nearly as hard as it would be to tell her father. Again, she pictured his face, his reaction, his "oh, well, it's not the end of the world." Her stomach turned to ice again, and she tried to concentrate on her breathing. James may have sensed this, because he gently put his hand on her knee, but she flicked it off.

The answer didn't come to her until a few moments later, when she dragged herself up to her bedroom to be alone. All of a sudden, she knew what she had to do.

She grabbed her bag and started to pile it high with things she might need. She slipped her wand into her sock and pulled a brush through her hair. It was dark, the best time to do it. It wasn't easy, since her father had removed the tree that went from her window to the ground, but she'd managed before and she could manage again. It was almost second nature to her. She threw her bag over her back and pushed open the window, listening hard for sounds of her brothers coming to check on her. When she was sure the coast was clear (she could hear an animated discussion about Head Boy duties going on downstairs), she pulled her legs through the window. Sitting on the sill, she dropped herself down until her feet touched the top of the window directly below. There was hardly any space to stand, which was lucky, because she didn't need to stand. She needed to fall. She let go of her own window and jumped.

She landed on her feet with a dull thud. With a quick look behind her, she started to walk across the field. An invisibility cloak would have come in useful, she thought. But her father needed it for all his missions and duties, even though he rarely went on many missions anymore. She broke into a run about halfway through the field, right up until she reached the cottage across the way.

This was phase two, as she always called it. It was easier than phase one, no doubt, which was getting out of her own house. She approached the large tree beside the house, gripped its branches, and started to climb. It wasn't until the third sturdy branch that she stopped and sat on it comfortably. The window it sat beside was closed, but she could clearly see into it. The light was on. It almost blinded her at first, since she had spent such a while in the dark in the field.

Hugo was lying on his bed, a book in his hand, a quill in the other. He didn't seem to notice the small girl peering in at him until she rapped on the window softly. He jumped and dropped his quill, before coming over hurriedly and opening the window for her.

"What are you doing?" he said. As he spoke, he shot a quick look behind him at the door.

"I need your help," she whispered back hurriedly.

"What?" Realization dawned on him as he saw the bag on her back. "No. Not again?"

"I'll be fine. I need you to cover for me."

"Remember what happened last time?" he whispered, like they were discussing forbidden topics. She smiled.

"Relax, OK? I know what I'm doing."

"Is this because of the Prefect thing?" She pulled some hair out of her eyes and avoided his gaze without answering. "Bit cowardly, don't you think?" he added.

"No. Now are you going to help me?"

"Help you run away? Not likely."

"Good. How long did it take them last time?"

"Two days."

"Best make it three then."

"Do you wanna tell me where you're going?" Hugo said. "If something happens…"

She put a finger to her lips, and he fell silent. "Ignorance is bliss. Nothing will happen." She winked, and started to descend the tree.

"Do you know what you're going to do? Where'll you go?"

"As far away from here as possible," she shrugged. "With any luck, the knight bus might pick me up." And with that, she jumped from the tree and headed off into the night.

* * *

><p>On the other side of town, a woman stood in ten feet from her house, a mobile phone pressed to her ear. She was nodding and smiling into it as she spoke. She was entirely alone, though there was the occasional bang or giggle from inside her cottage, where her sister was playing with her young son.<p>

"Of course I miss him, Dad," the woman said, "But it's too late to go back now, isn't it? I can't just undo everything, though I wish I could. When all this is over, I'll come home to you. Yes, with Richie – No, Dad, Theo can't reach us there. I'm sure of it, OK? I won't let him. Please, I just need your support here, this is hard enough without you riling at me. I'm staying with Stella for the time being, but I can't tell you where. I'm so sorry. I'll speak to you soon. I love you. Look after yourself. Bye." She closed the phone and put it back in her pocket, ran a hand through her hair and sighed.

A moment later, a woman popped her head out the door. "Are you coming, Gen?" he called.

"I'll be there in a second, Stella!" the woman, Gen, called back. She listened for the door to close and turned back.

Her eyes scoured the small village where her sister lived, though it didn't seem so small anymore. Stella had said that it was so much smaller before all these famous families moved there – families Gen had never heard of, like Potter and Weasley. _"They're like royalty, you have no idea," _Stella had said. The village now was rather large, with houses spreading out for miles and miles, and a population of nearly 1000, all of them as magic as Stella. They all dressed rather curiously, but it didn't occur to anybody that men wearing robes in public would be weird. Stella's home, which Gen had recently moved into with her son, was not in the middle of the village, luckily. In fact, it was quite out of the way. Gen was grateful for this; her home inLondon was always very busy, with noise at every second. It was nice to hear herself think. If she was magic, she wouldn't have minded living there.

Soon, she would have to go back in. She would go back and put her son to bed, have some tea with her sister, sign more divorce papers. But for now, she had these solitary moments of peace, and she was going to enjoy them.

A rustle in the trees nearby stopped Gen's heart. She stood completely still, her breathing ragged, listening. No more sounds came. She relaxed slightly. _Just an animal, _she told herself. Stella had a cat, she was sure that was it. But something still unnerved the woman, and she was about to turn around and head back inside when a man stepped out of the shadows of the trees.

The man was about six foot tall, and was skinny and lanky, and so very familiar that she felt her heart drop. Though his face was obscured by the shadows, she knew his body well. And she knew enough not to fight when he raised his wand, pointed it at her, and hissed, _"Fiendyre."_

* * *

><p>The first thing Lily saw was the fire. After about twenty minutes of walking at least, she was growing bored and tired, and slightly hungry. She wondered if anybody missed her yet, and passed the time by imagining their reactions. This could only be done so many times though, and she was almost desperate for company. Any company. She found herself wishing she'd brought Meredith with her.<p>

That was, of course, until the great burning light caught her eye. At first, she thought it was a bonfire. She smiled, picking up the pace, changing course for the bonfire. Maybe there would firewhiskey – her father never let her have it at home, but when she had it at parties, it was beautiful – and maybe there would be heaps of people, and food, and music. But then she heard a scream.

It wasn't a soft scream either. It was the kind of scream that send chills down your spine, that makes dogs bark, that makes your heart thump and your blood turn cold and your ears hurt. Like someone was going through torture.

She started to run at the fire, propelled by ear-splitting screams. As she drew closer and the light drew brighter, another scream joined it. She was approaching trees now. She ran through them, the fire so close, yet so far, still indistinguishable. The screams were so loud she almost didn't hear the footsteps that fell into step with hers as she ran through the thick trees.

Almost. She stopped short, holding her breath, listening hard, though shrieking was the only thing that filled her ears. Until –

_"Morsmordre!" _

A man stood, not ten feet from her, holding his wand high above his head. His silhouette against the firelight was the only thing she could make out. He seemed to be staring at something in the sky. He hadn't noticed her, and Lily didn't dare move an inch. The man dropped his arm, looked around, right past Lily, and then ran in the opposite direction. Only then did Lily choose to look up at the sky.

In the sky, green clouds had formed an eerie skull with a snake protruding from its mouth. She couldn't help herself; a hand flew to her mouth as she let out a scream to match those around her. She knew that mark.

Instantly, she started to run. She wasn't sure where, but she let the bright fire light guide her. As she stumbled out of the forest and saw the scene ahead of her, her own screams joined the rest.

In front of her, writhing in unbearable pain, was a woman. Her entire body was up in flames, her skin raw and blistered, and in some parts blackened and dead. She was completely bald, with only select patches of dark, burnt hair, which seemed to burn before Lily's eyes. Her eyes were shut, but her mouth was open, emitting the loud screams Lily had heard before. Kneeling beside her, screaming and crying, was another woman, who looked slightly older, with black, long hair. She had her wand pointed at the woman on the ground and another hand covering her mouth. Out of the wand threw jets of water that seemed to fall off the flames, doing nothing to diminish them. Her eyes darted upwards to see the sign in the sky, and fresh tears fell, but she had clearly seen it when it had first been cast, because she didn't look at all surprised. A young boy cried at the doorway to a cottage, watching the scene before him.

The woman looked up to see Lily there. "Help me!" she shrieked at the top of her voice, as sobs racked her body and her wand hand shook. Lily fumbled to pull her own wand out of her sock and pull off her bag from her back, leaving at the edge of the forest, and with a shaking hand pointed it at the woman on fire. But she'd never learnt a single spell to help with this. She had no idea what to do. She looked wildly at the woman, silently asking for help, because she had no idea what to do.

At that moment, the neighbours in a cottage nearby suddenly came out, running at the women with their wands out. A middle aged man and his wife fell out of their house, staring with wide eyes at the woman on fire. Instantly both of them started to produce jets of water from their wands.

"The Aurors are on their way!" he called over the woman's screams. "As are the mediwizards! _Aguamenti!_"

A jet of fire to match those of his wife and the other woman shot from his wand at the woman. "COME ON! _AGUAMENTI!_" But the water did nothing to the flames. The man swore under his breath, still producing water. Lily raised her own wand, whispering the incantation (she tried to say it – no sound came) but nothing happened. She gripped her wand tighter, wiping tears off her cheeks, and kept her gaze at anything but the woman on fire. But it was like blocking out the sun. And she was still screaming. And the woman was still crying and screaming, and the neighbour, and, as Lily looked around, new neighbours were running from their houses. The young child had been ushered inside by someone. Almost all of them looked pale and terrified in the glow of the fire. Some were crying. They all had their wands out, all of them shooting water at the woman. It did nothing, but that didn't deter them. Lily stared at her own wand meekly, feeling helpless and strangely cold. No matter how many times she said the incantation, her wand produced nothing. Maybe she was shaking too much, or maybe it was because she couldn't use her voice and it was a miracle she was still standing and conscious, but whatever it was, it was preventing her from helping this woman, who was no longer screaming, but still writhing, and Lily could swear, when she allowed herself a glimpse (that caused a fresh sob to escape from her), that tears were falling from the woman's eyes.

And then, as suddenly as Lily had seen them, they died down. And almost at once, Lily wished they had not.

All that was left was a smoking body. The woman was not moving. There was no skin visible: it was all blackened, or red and blistered. Lily had never seen anything so awful. She could hear the collective sobs of everybody around her. The only person screaming was the woman beside the charred body, who was sobbing and screaming over the dead woman. Lily couldn't look. She was going to be sick. A disgusting smell, like burning rubber and flesh, reached her nose just as someone conjured a blanket out of thin air and laid it over the body. Lily sprinted to the edge of the forest and threw up into a thicket of bushes.

When she turned around again, most people had scattered fearfully. She could hear the distant slam of doors and the click of bolts. Few remained. Some were simply sobbing in the shadows. The man from next door and his wife were both kneeling beside the covered body. The black-haired woman was sobbing into the wife while the man held his wand over the body and muttered incantations, occasionally looking up at the Dark Mark with a worried expression. Nobody spoke. People were looking around, waiting for the Aurors.

The Aurors. Lily had only managed to make it a few steps towards the body when someone walked by and started to strangle her. Or perhaps they had not; it felt like they did. As the impact of what she had just witnessed and what was to come bore down on her, she felt her knees give way under her. She fell with unusual grace, managing to stay upright by landing on her wrists. The incantations continued, as did the sobbing, and the occasional scream. In the fog that was her mind, she wondered where the child was.

She pulled her legs up to her chest and buried her head in her knees. She threw one arm over her head, protecting her, while another held her knees into her chest, keeping her together. And like that she stayed for what felt like days, but was probably only just minutes. She sobbed into her knees, quiet, uncontrollable sobs that racked her body and joined in with the sobs of the few around her. Images flashed in her mind. Her eyelids were still bright red when she closed her eyes, like the fire was right in front of her. The woman writhing. The flesh falling off like wax. The burned, charred body afterwards. The way the water rebounded. The screams. The sobs. The helplessness.

How long she stayed like that, she couldn't be sure. It seemed years later that she heard cracks all around her, but it was probably only seconds. There was a commotion, so loud against the quiet she had just experienced that Lily lifted her head and looked around.

About twelve Aurors had Apparated around the scene. She couldn't make out their faces in the darkness, but the eerie green glow from the Dark Mark that still burned in the sky cast upon them, and she could see their silhouettes. The light from the windows in the houses shed light on the scene too, though a part of Lily wished she was in darkness. Mediwizards and witches were gathered around the body, obscuring it from outside view. Lily tried to peer in through their legs, and regretted it instantly as the blanket slipped slightly, displaying a piece of blackened flesh on the scalp. She shut her eyes again, and only used her ears.

"Put her over here, we'll need to have a look at her," someone said. The voice was vaguely familiar, which was strange because in her haze of a mind, nothing felt familiar.

"Come on, you have to let her go, there's nothing you can do for her now... that's it, come on, we'll get you some tea… I need you to talk to us…"

"Did you see what happened, sir?"

"Do you know who cast that, ma'am?"

There was the occasional scuffle, cry, scream, retch, gasp. Lily was glad she was in the shadows of the trees and would not be seen, or noticed. She could not answer questions. She could not speak. She could hardly move.

"Wow, this was dark."

"Cursed fire… look at the burns, the tracks… that's awful."

"Nobody saw him? Ma'am, you need to stop crying. Nobody saw him? Are you sure?"

A whispered answer, punctured occasionally by a hiccough, followed. Lily listened, but there was no sound of her father anywhere. She dared to lift her head.

Three mediwizards and two Aurors were beside the house, crouched over something she could not see, but was sure was the body. Another Auror sat in a fold out chair in front of the woman with black hair, who was hysterical. Scattered about, Aurors were talking to witnesses, their quills scratching on parchment in midair beside their heads. Those who weren't being questioned were standing unsteadily on their feet, crying or otherwise staring into the sky above them. There was no sign of her father.

Suddenly there was another _crack _from not far away, and, as though Lily had summoned him, her father appeared on the other side of the crime scene. Beside him, a few moments later, other wizards Apparated to the place. They had cameras around their necks and were observing the scene like they had just seen a feast. They quickly conferred with her father, who Lily watched with both trepidation and relief, and then set off to photograph various aspects. Harry made his way to the body first, muttering quietly to the Aurors already surrounding it, and then turned his head to stare at the sky. He stared for a very long time.

Lily had never seen her father in his work environment like this. She had been to his work plenty of times, and sat at his desk, and watched him zoom paper airplanes into the air and receive ones from other people. She had seen his being lazy or getting through paperwork, but she had never been allowed to see him on a mission. None of his children had. And in all honesty, it was rather scary.

Finally, after an exhaustive mental battle and strenuous effort, Lily decided to pull herself to her feet. She struggled to stay there, once up, but managed. Nobody noticed or even looked her way. If she could just back up…

With careful footsteps, almost unheard over the sound of the commotion underway, Lily managed to back herself up until she had reached the forest. Her fingers felt for the nearest tree, and once she found it, she immediately fell back onto it, letting it support the weight her feet would not. She didn't realize she was still crying until she felt her cheeks were rather wet. She quickly wiped them off, but as she did so, remembered _why _they were there in the first place. And thus started the cycle again.

She kept her eyes on her father. He was looking around again, pulling out his wand and muttering, _'Lumos.'_. He asked a man some questions, but seemed to get no answers. But she couldn't stay, she couldn't be caught. She couldn't think, but she understood enough that being seen here would raise too many questions. She fumbled around and finally found her bag a few feet from where she stood. Carefully, she threw it onto her back and reversed into the forest, letting the noise of the crime cover her footsteps, until she was far enough to disappear into it and break into a run.

* * *

><p><strong>Hello, thank you for reading. <strong>

**That is all.**

**I love you.**

**Love, me.**


	3. Come and Go

**Disclaimer: Stuff you recognise isn't mine.**

**This is one of the few times I will stray away from canon. Obviously, it's a little AU to the epilogue (Ginny isn't there, etc) but I'm doing something else: Oliver Wood is based on MOVIE Wood. Not book Wood. Personality wise he's more like book Wood, but looks-wise I always imagined Oliver as Sean Biggerstaff (actor who plays Oliver in the movies). So yeah. **

**Also, JK has said that Luna and Rolf get married much later than the other couples, but I didn't find that out until way after I'd written that, so count it out, OK? They all married and had kids around the same time/decade. That's all!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 2: Come and Go<strong>

_"Now she's back in the atmosphere_

_The drops of Jupiter in her hair_

_She acts like summer and walks like rain_

_Reminds me that there's a time to change_

_Since she's returned from her stay on the moon_

_She listens like Spring and she talks like June."_

- Drops of Jupiter by Train

* * *

><p>Nicholas Wood lounged on his seat, mindlessly thumbing through the latest copy of <em>Which Broomstick? <em>and taking sips of milk from the cartoon. _This, _he thought as he lifted his feet to rest on the coffee table, _is the life. _

Or, it would have been the life. The life was rudely interrupted by an intruder who went by the name of Alexander Wood. The older boy strolled into the room with his broom in his hand and stopped short when he saw his little brother.

"Is that – are you drinking _straight from the carton?_" Alexander asked with a look of appall on his face. Nicholas put the carton down.

"Don't act like you never do it, I've caught you at least three times," Nicholas said. With an eye roll, he turned back to his magazine.

"Still," the older boy shrugged. Nicholas looked nothing like his brother. He had been told on numerous occasions that he looked exactly like his father had at 16. Alexander, on the other hand, had darker, longer hair and a thinner face. His eyes were a cool grey, rather than Nicholas' dark brown. He was, however, a Wood through and through: proven by the Quidditch Captain title that he had received during his school years – one that Nicholas recently discovered he too had achieved, much to his father's pleasure.

"Are you going out?" Nicholas asked, eyeing the broomstick in Alex's hand.

"Yeah. Catching some friends. Oh, mate – you've got some fan mail."

"Oh, awesome," Nicholas said, holding his hand out expectantly. Alexander stared at it. "Where is it?"

"I don't have it on me, it's in my room."

Realization dawned on his face just as Alexander grabbed an apple and headed to the door. "Did you go through my mail?"

"I might have!" Alexander called back. "Can't prove it! By the way," he paused at the door, turning around to stare at his brother. "That Alexis sounds fit. I hope you're hitting that."

And on that crude note, he turned and left the house. Nicholas hardly hesitated after the door shut, and sprinted to his brother's room. The door was open ajar. Inside the small bedroom was a tip. Clothes lay scattered everywhere, discarded objects were all over the floor. Alexander had a hobby of collecting junk he didn't need and putting it in places that would harm anyone who tried to enter. You needed a map just to get to the bed – where, Nicholas noticed, a collection of letters lay. Nicholas, whose room was in a similar state, carefully made his way across the room, unperturbed by the mess, and sat down on the bed (moving a pair of boxers out of the way to sit). He gathered up the letters and went through them, one by one.

Nicholas' fan mail was not, contrary to popular belief (due to a rumour Alexander spread about him), actual fan mail. It was just letters from his friends, which came in rather large numbers, which was why the family had started calling it "fan mail."

The first was indeed a letter from Alexis, his girlfriend of last year, who he had conveniently managed to not see all summer. He had assumed, as the train pulled into the station, that it would mean the end of their casual romance, seeing as she lived in a remote farm in the country and he lived nearLondon. But alas, she did not share this view. It wasn't like he didn't like her, because he did, she was fine. It was more that she was a little bit possessive… and obsessive… and borderline psychotic…

The doorbell rang as Nicholas skimmed Alexis' letter. He heard his father call "I got it!" and quiet conversation downstairs, but he didn't really listen. As he reached the end of the letter (finished with a few too many _xoxo_'s) the conversation died away.

The second was from the Scamander twins, telling him about their summer in the forests ofNigeria. They got the venom from some animal, whose name he couldn't read, and they can't wait to be back… Lorcan fell in love, again… Lysander can't wait to be home, he's getting bored (who wouldn't be? How many beasts are there really to find?)… signed with a heartfelt "See you when we see you."

"Feeling the love, boys," Nicholas mumbled to nobody as he set the letter aside and picked up another one.

"Who are they from?" a small voice piped up from the doorway. Nicholas jumped, almost crushing the letters in his surprise. A little girl stood there, watching her brother, her light brown hair pulled back into a tight braid down her back. She smiled at her brother, and clambered over the junk, onto the bed.

"My friends," he answered as he helped her onto his lap.

"Your magical friends?" she asked.

"Yes, Cee," he smiled kindly. She nodded. "Did Mum do your hair like that?" he asked in an effort to distract her. She pulled the braid from behind her back.

"Mhm. Let's go to my room." Grabbing her brother's hand, the ten-year-old steered him out of the room and into her own. He let himself be taken into the small, pink bedroom at the end of the hall. The room was every little girl's dream – there was a dollhouse in one corner, and an overload of stuffed animals in another. Paintings from when Cecelia was little covered the walls. A small, frilly bed sat against the wall, covered again in stuffed animals. A desk in the corner was littered with schoolbooks. Instantly, she climbed on her bed and started to jump.

"Don't jump, Cecelia," Nicholas said quietly, "You'll break the springs." Though this was hardly a problem.

"Why not? Dad does it all the time," she shrugged, but she stopped jumping, and just stood on her bed, barely taller than Nicholas, who was standing in the doorway with his hands in his pockets. "I hear it sometimes."

"Dad's Dad," he explained simply, taking a step into the room.

"He does it with other people, too," she said. She took a final jump, landing on her bottom on the edge of the bed. "Girls."

Nicholas frowned. "You mean Mum?"

She shook her head and beckoned him over. When he came, he leaned down so she could whisper it in his ear. But as soon as she inhaled to whisper, she broke into a fit of inexplicable giggles. Nicholas pulled back. "Who does he do it with?" he pressed, but when she wouldn't stop giggling, he started to attack her with tickles. "Who?" he repeated as she shrieked with laughter, trying to roll out of his grip. When she cried for mercy, he lowered his hands and sat himself next to her.

"I didn't see her," Cecelia said quietly when they had calmed down. "But she was there all night." Nicholas said nothing. He rubbed his eyes. He'd be out of here soon anyway. He ought not to bother with these stupid things. They weren't his problem. "I wish I could come with you," said Cecelia after another long pause. He reached out and squeezed her small, warm hand.

"Next year," he said. "You can come with me. You're just not old enough." He didn't say it, but they both knew what hung over them like a suffocating smoke. What made his promise so empty. "You know what I've been thinking?"

"What?"

"In two years, when I graduate, we should go on a holiday."

Cecelia's eyes lit up. "Where to?"

"Wherever you want," he shrugged.

"Can we go toSwitzerland? We learnt about it at school."

"Yeah," he answered quietly, "of course we can. I've always wanted to go toSwitzerland. And we can go toRomania; I'll show you some real live dragons."

"AndAfrica?"

"Yeah, of course. It'll just be us. Dad and Mum don't have to come."

"And Alex?"

"Do you want him to?"

"Alex is mean to me," she said in a small voice.

"Then he's not coming."

Cecelia started to laugh again, softly at first. And Nicholas started to tickle her again, and soon they were laughing so loudly nobody could hear the squeaking of the bed in the room on the other side of the hall.

Suddenly the desk next to the bed gave a loud shudder, and moved a few inches. A few pencils dropped to the floor. Nicholas stopped to stare at it in awe. Nobody spoke. Nicholas waited, hoping it would go again. His stomach bubbled with hope.

"I kicked it," Cecelia said quietly after a moment. Nicholas dragged his eyes from the desk to look at her. She was staring at the floor. She didn't speak as she grabbed her doll and walked out, leaving Nicholas alone, staring after her.

* * *

><p>Luck is conceptual. Luck is for those who believe in it. Luck is for those who need faith. Who don't believe in coincidences. Rose, <em>luckily, <em>is one of those girls who believes everything happens for a reason. That luck is for those who really need it. It was _lucky _that when Hugo was five, he cracked his skull and had to be taken to the hospital. It was _lucky _that her parents were so distracted by this they didn't notice her 10/20 on the spelling test. It was _lucky _Roxy let her borrow her homework. But it wasn't _lucky _that she inherited her mother's brains, like her father always said. No, it was lucky she had perfected a certain art before her parents could catch on.

But she needed to tell him. If anybody had a right to know, it was Scorpius. Scorpius was a luck guy – maybe that was why they fought more than most of their friends. He didn't believe in coincidences. His motto was "shit happens." Like when she asked why she had walked in on Al having a passionate tongue battle with Elizabeth Coldon and he had answered, "Just 'cause he's horny, probably." He didn't question anything. Or search for answers.

And she knew he wouldn't be mad if she told him. And she had to tell him. As they sat on the couch in her attic, her legs resting on his and their lips locked, she decided she had to tell him. She pulled back. He looked like a sad puppy as he flicked away a strand of blonde hair out of his eyes.

"Hey!" he cried dramatically. "I was enjoying that."

"I need to talk to you," she said boldly. She was going to do it. He had a right to know.

"Shoot."

"I… I think you should talk to Al."

Or not.

"What?" Scorpius frowned. "What about?"

"I think…. You know, I think he's feeling lonely. It must be hard to have your two best friends get together –"

"Not like he didn't see it coming –"

"And I think you should talk to him. He might want to talk to you, too."

"What are you even on about?" He sighed and sat back. "If he wanted to talk, he has girls lining down the block for him –"

"But he wants to talk to you!"

Scorpius sighed and ran a hand over his face. "We talk all the time. We're fine. Stop meddling."

"Meddling?" cried Rose, pulling her feet off him and sitting up straight. "I'm _meddling?"_

"Yes, you're meddling! Leave it!" He mimicked her action.

"So by caring for my cousin and wanting to not ruin a friendship –"

"Is that what you think you're doing? Me and Al –"

"Al and I-"

"- are still the same as we were a year ago. Nothing's changed, except you're just getting paranoid."

"He doesn't talk to me half like he used to, and I know you guys have some serious communication problems –" She was on her feet now, glowering down at him.

"For fuck's sake, Rose –" He too jumped to his feet. Now he had the higher ground, being at least a head taller than her.

"- and you can't expect me to overlook those issues. He needs a friend, Scorpius! You're supposed to be his friend!" She looked desperate now, desperate for him to see.

"I am his friend, Rose. I'm his best friend. And as his best friend, I know when he wants to talk –"

"No, I know what this is! You're just scared -"

"Scared?"

"Yes, scared! Scared of showing any real emotion! Probably because you'll implode or something –"

"I can't show fucking emotion?" he shouted back. He grabbed his bag by the door and swung it over his back. "Fuck this. I don't need this."

"Hey! No, Scorp –" Rose cried, chasing after him as he started to descend the stairs. She managed to grab his arm, but he shook her off.

"How's this for emotion?" He held up his middle finger angrily as he ran down the stairs, two at a time. He didn't say anything to Hugo, who was sitting on the couch, apparently trying to teach wizard's chess to the cat.

"Did you guys fight?" Hugo asked without looking up.

"None of your business," mumbled Scorpius. He tried to get to the door, but Hugo stood up, blocking his way.

"It is my business," he said bravely. He puffed out his chest and tried to look mean. Scorpius had to resist the urge to laugh.

"Just move, kid. I have placed to be." Hugo gave in easily. With a soft shove, he gave way, letting Scorpius through to the door with a look of contempt.

"If I hear anything about you being mean to her again, I'll –" Hugo started, but Scorpius slammed the door in his face.

Upstairs, Rose stifled a sob. How could a lie, a cover up, end in this? She should have just said it. Now she's ruined everything. All because she was too scared to admit the truth.

She climbed down the stairs and into her room. The door shut itself behind her – a charm she had put on it a few years ago when it became apparent that Hugo liked to sneak into her room. Her bedroom, she noted, was still as neat as it was when Scorpius has coaxed her into going up into the attic with him. Her trunk lay open in the corner, her clothes folded neatly in them, her books on top. She remembered the first time she'd done it. It was first year, and she stole Alice Michaels' notes for her exam. She denied it outright, sendingAliceinto a tearful spiral of stress. Had she known, even then, what it would lead to? To her, at the time, it had just been first year exams. It had been the look on her parents' faces; the smug look on Scorpius'. It wasn't serious. She let it get out of hand.

And this was just the beginning.

* * *

><p>The Leaky Cauldron was quiet that afternoon. There were only a few people, which was strange, because the Leaky Cauldron was usually rather busy, but the usual buzz of conversation resumed. Hannah topped up the firewhiskey for Gordon, one of her favourite regulars. Neville discussed recent news with Demetria, another regular. Hannah listened casually as she manually cleaned a benchtop, more for something to do than anything else. With a flick of her wand, she could have done the same job, but she was eyeing Neville and Demetria with curiosity as she discussed the paper in front of her, one that neither Hannah nor Neville had read yet.<p>

"They say we're as safe as we'll ever be," Demetria was saying, "what with Harry Potter running the department?"

"No," agreed Neville, exchanging a look with Hannah over Demetria's head. "Nobody better than him."

"Well, you should hear what they're saying. Not allowed to publish it, no-sir-ry," she rambled. "They all spotted a Dark Mark in Godric's Hollow – in his own village! An old friend of mine, she was first on the scene, awful story. Woman burned to death! No doubt work of Death Eaters, no doubt about it, but you wouldn't hear a peep of it! He's trying to keep it all hushed up, doesn't want to cause panic, always said he was smart, didn't I? Yes, it was awful…"

Both Hannah and Neville had been listening attentively, transfixed in horror. It took the ring of the bell above the entrance to bring them back to reality. However, it was only a young family, passing through on their way to Diagon Alley. Hannah acknowledged them with a wave. Demetria had stopped talking and was now taking sips of her Butterbeer.

"I might owl Harry," Neville told Hannah quietly before dashing upstairs.

"Of course," Demetria continued, unaware that her audience had halved, "Nobody could have predicted it. I say we don't judge until we know the full story! No witnesses could speak, see, they only came too late. But…"

She was interrupted again by the ring of the bell, and this time Hannah looked up in time to see a familiar brunette make her way into the bar. She looked frazzled and nervous as she made her way to the counter, sitting on a stool furthest away, looking around gingerly. Hannah couldn't remember where she'd seen her. She excused herself from Demetria, who hardly noticed her walk away, and smiled at the new addition.

"Anything for you, love?" she asked. As the woman looked up to meet her eyes, Hannah's smile dropped. She knew this woman. "Oh."

The woman smiled at her, though it didn't reach her eyes. "Hello, Hannah."

"What are you doing back here?" Hannah said coldly. The woman looked afronted.

"I was hoping for a drink," she said casually. Hannah didn't move.

"It's awfully bold of you to come back here," Hannah said. "Any particular reason? Or you just thought you'd _pop in?" _Her voice was mocking.

"Is Neville around?" asked the other woman brightly.

"He's in the back, he won't be here for a while," she lied, and hoped he would not reappear. "You changed your hair."

"Oh!" The woman's hands jumped to her hair. "Yeah, I did. The red was very… attention grabbing."

"Yes, I can imagine," Hannah mumbled. "Wouldn't want to draw any attention to yourself." There seemed to be nothing left to say. Hannah grabbed a cloth and started to wipe down the benchtop again. After a few moments, the woman spoke again.

"Listen, Hannah," she sighed, "I need a room."

"We're booked out," Hannah snapped instantly.

"The Leaky Cauldron's never booked out."

"Well, we are today. Very busy."

"Hannah, I have nowhere to stay," the woman almost begged, though she tried to keep the plea out of her voice.

Hannah stared at a spot on the benchtop, though she made no attempt to clean it. "How long do you need?" she finally said.

"A week, I suppose. How much room do you have?"

"Most… fine. You can stay. It's 50 Galleons a night."

"Oh, Hannah, thank you, this means so much, you've really –"

"Yeah, alright. But there are rules."

The woman swallowed. "Right, of course.

"I trust you know what's on Friday?" The woman nodded, and a pink flush spread to her cheeks. "Yeah, you stay inside. The parents like to come back here for drinks after they see their kids off. So you'll make yourself scarce. Is that agreed?"

The woman seemed to want to say something, but held her tongue. She nodded guiltily. "I will." Hannah started to walk away, hailed by a man asking for another Butterbeer, when she was called back. "Oh, Hannah! I just… one more thing. I was only wondering if you needed any extra hands? I could do with the money, and the way things are going, you'll need help, wont' you?"

Hannah was saved from answering by the bell of the door. She looked up in time to see a young man enter, pulling off his traveling cloak and shutting the door behind him. He was tall and lanky, with dark hair that fell around his face and a friendly smile. He made his way over to the bar, grabbing a stool a few away from the woman and waving at Hannah. "Hey, Hannah Banana! Howsit?"

"Quinton, how are you, dear? The usual?" She handed him a Butterbeer, which he drank happily.

"Doing great, sweets, doing great. I was over in Diagon Alley, this morning actually, and you'll never guess what I saw – Harry Potter! In the flesh!"

"Oh," Hannah smiled. "How lovely! He seems to be popping up everywhere, doesn't he?"

"Yeah, I was gonna stop and maybe say hi, but he was with his kids, didn't want to interrupt. Buying books, I 'spect. Not to mention the crowd he drew just by standing there. Couldn't wait to get out of there, though, it seemed. Really edgy. But it was really him!" He cried again, as though Hannah had not understood.

Hannah wasn't paying all that much attention, however. Her eyes were on the brunette in the corner, who was watching Quinton with rapt attention. "Diagon Alley, you say?" the woman asked quietly. Quinton turned to answer her, clearly grateful that his news had not gone unnoticed, when Hannah snapped, "oh, you mind yours!"

"Hannah-Banana, you didn't introduce your friend!" Quinton scolded playfully. He held out his hand to the woman, who shook it shyly. "Quinton Destiere."

"Quinton, this is Ginny," said Hannah coolly before the woman had a chance to lie. "Ginny Weasley."

Ginny almost shot her a look of contempt before remembering herself. "Pleasure," she smiled falsely.

"Oh, blimey! Look at this!" he turned to Hannah, not letting go of Ginny's hand. "You didn't tell me you knew Ginny Weasley, Hannah! Ah, what an honour! You should've said something! You're Ginny Weasley!" But almost as soon as he said the last few words, he remembered. He dropped her hand like she had pinched him. "Blimey," he breathed, and there was no excitement in his voice. "You're Ginny Weasley." He tried to collect himself. "Where are you staying, Ginny Weasley?"

"Here, I think," she said. She met Hannah's eyes, and Hannah nodded quickly.

"Ah… how long've you been here, Ginny Weasley?"

"It's just Ginny. And only a few hours. Hannah… I don't think you answered me, I was wondering –"

"Show me some credentials," Hannah interrupted sharply, "and I'll consider it."

"Oh, thanks so much, I don't know what I'd do without you, you're a lifesaver!"

"Yeah, yeah." Hannah brushed her off before rushing to serve another customer. It took Ginny a moment's awkward silence to realize she was still being scrutinized by Quinton. However, before she could speak, someone came through the door behind the bar, looking slightly dazed. He was burly and tired-looking, with a kind, round face. He looked around the bar, and as his eyes fell on Ginny, he inhaled sharply.

"Hi, Neville," she smiled tenderly.

"Ginny," he exhaled, making his way over to her. "Hey. How are you?"

"Good. Alive," she joked, but she didn't laugh, and neither did he. "I took your advice."

"You did?"

"Yeah, I got… you know. I got some help."

"Wow, that's great, Ginny. Really great. So you're back?"

"For the time being," she shrugged, wringing her fingers. Neither knew what to say. "I was thinking, I might get a job here. Hannah will need some help, you know, keeping shop when you go back to Hogwarts, so I might…" she let her voice trail off. Neville shifted his feet anxiously.

"Yeah, great, really great. Listen, I have to…" he didn't finish his sentence, but she nodded understandingly and waved him off.

"I should be off," Quinton said. Ginny had forgotten he was there. "Nice meeting you. See you here tomorrow, same time?"

"Uh… sure. Nice meeting you." He gave her a fleeting wave and pulled his cloak on and heading out of the store. The bell rang to indicate his departure, and in his seat lay five shining sickles.

* * *

><p>"T-shirts."<p>

"Check."

"Jeans."

"Check."

"_Defense, Not Defiance _by Ublove Wixtop."

"Check."

Lily nodded as she put the book into her trunk and folded another pair of jeans to squeeze it in there too. Hugo lay on her bed, one arm behind his head and another holding the list. "You're set." He pulled himself off the bed, making Meredith, who had been lying on him, jump as he kneeled beside Lily in front of her trunk. She had just latched it up, falling back with an exhausted sigh.

"Great. And now, we go to yours."

"I've already done mine."

"You have?"

"What, you think I'm going to leave it to the day before, like you?" He rolled his eyes. She giggled.

"Gee, sorry."

Lily slumped cross-legged in front of her trunk, her mind buzzing with anything she may have forgotten. Tomorrow, she'd be gone. Away from her father's scrutiny, from Hugo's badgering questions about what made her come back so soon.

Hugo lay back. "Heard from your friends lately?" he asked casually. She shrugged.

"A few. But they're all overseas, so I'm mostly here alone."

"No shit," Hugo laughed. "Hey, guess what."

"What?"

"Al has a girl downstairs."

Lily's jaw dropped. "No way."

"Yes way. I saw them as I came up." Lily jumped up and sprinted out of the room into the hall. She leaned over the banister of the stairs, but she couldn't see them. Dejected, she headed back into her room.

Al did indeed have a girl downstairs. She had arrived twenty minutes before, and she was a vision in floral. As Al opened the door for her, she smiled radiantly and pulled him into a hug.

"I came over as soon as I heard," she said sympathetically. Al nodded awkwardly and stepped back to let her in, where she sat herself down on the couch. "Are you alright?" she asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks for coming, it means a lot."

"Yeah,Elizabethsaid you might need some support. She didn't want to end it that way."

"Ah, well. I dunno, I guess it doesn't matter that much to me, really. We were pretty rocky." Al stuffed his hands into his pockets and rocked on his feet.

"Mm, I heard." He sat next to her, feeling almost holy just by being in her presence. Which was stupid, considering she was in his house and his year. "Listen," she patted his knee, and Al felt a tingling sensation run through his whole body, "don't take it hard, OK?Elizabethis a huge bitch. Everyone thinks so."

"I thought you were her friend."

She shrugged. "I am. But that doesn't make her any less of a bitch."

"Has she talked to you much?" he asked. They were no longer an item – though he wasn't all that disappointed – but he was still interested in her. If not in the romantic sense.

"Yeah, I mean, we talked like, yesterday. She's doing OK. Said that you took it well." Al shrugged modestly. He _had _taken it pretty well. As soon as the words had leftElizabeth's mouth, he had just said, "fine" and walked away. "Well, you probably don't want to talk much about it. Have you packed?"

"Oh, uh, yeah, I packed this morning. I'm all ready."

"Oh, great! So am I! Oh, I was supposed to ask you – tomorrow, on the train, sit in our compartment, won't you?"

Al felt his chest go light. He breathed hard. "Oh, uh, thanks, but I have Rose and Scorp – "

"They can come!" she said quickly.

"I suppose so, then."

"Great! It's a deal! This has been really good, Al, I'm glad I came. And you're OK?"

"Perfect," he smiled. He led her to the door. "See you soon, Sarah."

She stared at him for a moment, a soft look in her eye. "See you soon, Al," she said in a voice barely above a whisper. Then she leaned in close and gently kissed him on the cheek. With a final wave, she was gone, and Al stood in the doorway, still touching the place where her lips had met his skin.

* * *

><p><em>October 3, 2015.<em>

_The cool sea breeze was the first thing Ginny felt when she arrived. The sand under her shoes was another, and she realized exactly where she was. The sound of the sea echoed in her ears as she trudged up the beach to the small cottage, and found herself incredibly grateful that Hermione had taught her the undetectable extension charm. In her purse was everything she needed, everything she had taken. It would carry her at least until she could get herself to Gringotts and get some money out, which she hoped she could do at least before Harry locked the vault._

_The darkness weighed down on her, and she felt drowsy. Thoughts swarmed in her brain, and she thought again of everything she was leaving, of her children. Tears prickled her eyes, but she focused on her surroundings and pushed them back. She was nearly there. _

_There were no lights on in the house, but it looked as inviting as anything. Being out in the cold was getting to her. She approached the cottage and knocked loudly on the door. _

_"Bill!" she cried, stepping back and rubbing her arms against the cold that was becoming more biting as it grew later. Or earlier. "BILL!" She screamed this time._

_Light showered her from upstairs and she waited. A moment later, the door flew open, revealing Bill in his pajamas, looking exhausted. His long hair had been cut so it rested just above his shoulders. She squinted at him against the light._

_"Ginny?" he asked, frowning. "What the bloody hell are you doing here?" _

_But at the sight of him, Ginny started to cry. She threw her arms around his neck and sobbed openly against this pajama shirt, while he patted her back awkwardly. She was so upset she hardly noticed Fleur coming down, looking just as tired and confused._

_"I left them, Bill," she sobbed, her voice muffled by his shirt. "I left them, and I don't know what I've done."_

* * *

><p>"Do you like my dress?"<p>

The question was posed by a disembodied voice coming in through the hall. Nicholas had been crouched low over trunk, trying desperately to fit in his last textbook when a body joined the voice, leaning the doorway. Her bright gold dress flounced about her knees, matching her eyes. "Oh, yeah, it's beautiful. Are you going to a party, Miss Cecelia?" he asked. She nodded, showing off her curled hair.

"Mum gave me the dress. Look!" She stepped back and twirled, and it flew around her. Laughing, she grabbed the doorframe again. "Gizelle is having a party tonight, since she's turning ten." She came over and sat beside Nicholas, staring at his trunk. "Is that all your stuff?"

"Everything I'll need," he said quietly.

"When do you leave?"

"Tomorrow, remember? You're taking me to the station." Tears suddenly filled her eyes.

"You're leaving me alone," she said in a tiny voice.

"Not alone," he disagreed. "Alex and Mum and Dad are all here."

"You _are _leaving me alone." And with that, and a sob, she ran out of the room, leaving Nicholas feeling worse than before.

He tried not to think about it. Instead, he thought of the train ride to Hogwarts. Getting out of here. If there was one thing he was going to miss, it was Cecelia. He wouldn't regret leaving the teasing of his brother, or the pep talks from his father, or the constant stream of girlfriends that flowed through the house like a pulse that his mother pretended not to notice as she drowned herself in alcoholic drinks and her children. He probably wouldn't even miss his bedroom, with its bare walls and junk everywhere. At Hogwarts, he had a four poster bed that was always warm. He had meals every night that he didn't need to make for anybody else. He had friends. He had girls. He was living the life, if you minus all the classes and homework.

"Nicholas!"

His father had appeared in the doorway. Oliver Wood was in top shape - probably from all his Quidditch playing – even in his later years. His hair was ruffled (Nicholas didn't want to think what from) and his eyes were sparkling, like he was ready for a talk. Nicholas sat back and prepared himself.

"Yeah, Dad?"

Oliver made his way over to the bed and sat down. "Listen, I know you've been made Quidditch captain, so I think we should talk."

"About?"

Oliver looked at him like an idiot. "Tactics! Ideas! How you plan to win!"

"Dad… it's Ravenclaw. I _don't _plan to win."

"Nicholas, think. It could have been Hufflepuff. Now come on. Who's your first game against?"

"How do I know? We don't find out 'till next year."

"Listen, write me up when you find out, OK? And tell me when you hold trials. Now, the thing about trailing is it's all about when you see them. So you need to be careful who you watch…"

Nicholas turned his father off, and finally, after much effort that his father hardly noticed, he managed to close his trunk. His father kept talking. He laid his broom over it, the new Nimbus 2020. It was his father's old one, and pretty good, if not slightly outdated. Finally, he put his cage on top, with his bird, Muffin, on top. Muffin was a large fluff ball of an owl, with slightly golden feathers. Nicholas had received him when he started Hogwarts, and as a treat, he had let Cecelia name him, though he regretted this instantly. It was a rather original name for a five year old, and so he never changed it, for fear of hurting her feelings. It was lucky he had gotten attached to the name Muffin.

"Absolutely, Dad. I'll get right on it," he mumbled, without realizing or caring what he had agreed to. He clapped a hand on his father's shoulder, muttered an insincere thank you, and started to walk out the door, backwards. "Oh, by the way, Cecelia heard you yesterday. So bit quieter next time, yeah?" He clicked his fingers and spun around on his heel, almost skipping out of his room.

* * *

><p>The dinner table at the Burrow was bustling. The sounds of cutlery against plates, laughter, and conversation filled the house. It had become almost a tradition on the night before the kids leave for Hogwarts that a family dinner was at the Burrow. Even though only a few would be leaving this time, tradition still stood, and everybody came.<p>

"Now, if you're going to sneak out, make sure nobody's in the common room," Victoire was muttering to Lily in an undertone as she buttered her bread. They sat at the end of the table, away from the prying ears and eyes of the adults. "Did that once. Caught, in trouble like you wouldn't believe. Had to say I was sneaking off to the kitchens. Better than the truth." She giggled.

"And don't even fret over the prefect's thing," Fred said. "It's half the deal they make it out to be. I wasn't one, and look where I ended up!"

"An underachiever living in his father's shop and getting drunk at family dinners?" Louis cheeked, earning him an elbow in the ribs from Fred, who was sipping his firewhiskey.

Along the table, Molly was discussing the highs and lows of being a Head with Al, who was listening intently, while Rose tried her best not to look sour and engaged herself in a conversation with Lucy and Roxanne.

"Fourth year was one of my best," she said to Lucy, who was looking apprehensive as she munched on some chicken. "So you've nothing to fear."

"I spent most of fourth year in detention," said Roxanne. "I could hardly enjoy it."

And at the very end of the table, a very different issue was being discussed. Heads bowed, Harry was recounting the events of a grizzly crime scene he had evaluated just a few days ago, though they already knew most everything about it since they had been the first people he had told the next day. "It just doesn't make sense. The body was burnt beyond recognition, but the sister did the identifying. Muggle."

"But why in Godric's Hollow? It's not exactly a muggle hotspot."

Her question was drowned out by Grandma Weasley scolding Bill about his hair. "Really, Bill just a few inches, I could do it right now, you're much too old for this long-haired hippie rubbish, let me just get my wand – "

"Mum, leave it, please."

The other end of the table laughed. "He needs a haircut," agreed Victoire. "I offered, but he doesn't seem interested in getting one from me."

"Maybe he's trying to grow it out," shrugged Teddy, whose own hair was a nice shade of green, with pink eyes to match. "A long mane, like yours. He must be jealous."

"Oh, but naturally," laughed Lily. "Who wouldn't want hair like Vic?"

"I could think of a few," scowled Dom, whose hair matched Vic's in every way.

"Don't scowl, you'll get frown lines," said Fred, grabbing Dom's cheeks and squeezing them so she resembled a fish.

"Fred the Beautician," teased Rose, and once again the table was swelled with conversation, and Lily was laughing with everybody, laughing at Fred's jokes and Roxanne's impressions and Teddy's comments and Vic's vanity and then, quite suddenly, she wasn't, and her stomach was twisting and her mind was conjuring horrible images of screaming woman and burning bodies and disgusting smells and sights that, as time wore on, only become _more _familiar to her. And her body pulled her from the table and she ran to the bathroom and had only just managed to shut the door when, for the _n_th time in the last few days, she hurled. And the fire burned behind her eyes and the screams were in her ears as though the woman was next to her, and the sky cast an eerie green glow above her eyelids.

"You're at the Burrow," she reminded herself in a whisper. "You're at the Burrow, everything's OK. Everything's alright. You're going to Hogwarts tomorrow."

She repeated that mantra in her head as she flushed and washed out her mouth and rejoined the table, and started to laugh and joke again with the rest of her family, and nobody noticed her quick detour, or maybe they were kind enough not to mention it. But with the mantra in her head, the images didn't dare float back, and by the end of the night, she could have forgotten about that night. But she had long since given up hope that she would ever truly forget about it.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So yeah. Thank you for reviewing, I love you! And if you haven't, I still love you, but I would love you even more if you did. :)**


	4. Wait For Me

**Chapter 3: Wait For Me**

_"Hey little train, wait for me_

_I was held in chains but now I'm free_

_I'm hanging in there, don't you see_

_In this process of elimination."_

**-** O Children by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

Lily awoke the morning of September first feeling oddly gleeful. She was glad to be going back to Hogwarts, glad to be seeing her friends. She washed and pulled on a cute little blue dress with silver flats and a blue headband to match. She thought the entire ensemble was entirely appropriate, but it appeared that others didn't quite share this view.

"Is that what you're wearing?" her father asked with a frown as she appeared in the kitchen, running a brush through her hair. She stopped where she stood.

"Yes?"

"Go put something over it," he said instantly. He was sitting on the kitchen table, his breakfast untouched, the paper in one hand and pumpkin juice in the other.

"There's nothing wrong with it!"

"Good, then you won't mind putting something over it –AL!" A muffled reply could just be made out from upstairs. "GET UP!"

Lily helped herself to some cereal while Albus threw himself out of bed and into the kitchen, still in his pajamas with his hair a mess. "Morning sunshine," she said happily. He grunted at her and helped himself to his own bowl of cereal.

"Half an hour," Harry said as he ran back upstairs.

"What's got your wand in a knot?" asked Lily when Harry had gone.

"Nothing," he mumbled. "Just tired."

"Or love-drunk," she suggested under her breath. He dropped his spoon. It clattered against the bowl.

"What?" he asked sharply.

"Oh, nothing. Seeing any nice girls lately?" she teased. He rubbed his eyes.

"Drop it," he said, and his voice was so sharp she didn't question it. They ate the rest of the meal in silence, broken only by the scraping of spoons against bowls.

Her father came back down fifteen minutes later, once Al was ready to leave. They clambered into the car, their trunks in the back, Meredith on Lily's lap while Al's owl Nitpick hooted happily from his cage. And they set off.

King's Cross Station was busy this time of year. Nobody seemed to notice that hundreds of children, currying trunks and uncommon household pets, seemed to fall through a solid wall. Al went first, falling sideways into the platform. Harry wrapped his arm around Lily.

"Ready?" he asked.

"Yeah," she said. Harry pushing her trolley and her following closely behind, they headed through the barrier, coming out on the other side. The steam engine stood stationary, surrounded by fog. The voices of hundreds swirled around them, as Lily's eyes darted around, searching. Al was way ahead, probably already looking for a compartment. As they made their way through the smoke and crowds, Lily finally, to her relief, spotted the Weasleys. They waved as she appeared, Harry just behind her, and pulled her into a hug.

"Excited?" asked Aunt Hermione. Lily nodded enthusiastically.

"Yeah, you're going to have a ball," Ron said. "OWLs, best year I ever had."

"I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not," Hugo frowned. Harry stepped in.

"It's not that bad," he said. "Just work hard and it'll be a breeze."

"And don't pass out," Ron said, getting a glare from Harry.

But Lily had spotted someone coming up behind the family. A tall man was a fair distance away, towing a blonde girl behind him. His hair was dark today, and though she couldn't see much else, she knew exactly who it was.

_"Teddy!" _shrieked the redhead as she barreled into his arms, her feet off the ground. He looked startled, but caught her anyway. He set her down gently_._ She pulled Vic into a hug. "Why are you guys here?"

"I'm here to see him off," Vic said, beaming up at Teddy. The rest of the family had caught up by now, and were coming up behind her, greeting them.

"Why?" Lily frowned, looking between the two of them. In that second, something snapped. "You're going to work at Hogwarts?"

Teddy nodded proudly, and Vic rubbed his arm. "Defence Against The Dark Arts," he said.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked excitedly.

"I wanted it to be a surprise. Come on, I'm going to go find a compartment. See you soon, then Lils," he said. He picked up his suitcase and towed Victoire into the train, searching for a compartment. When Lily turned around, she saw Harry and Hugo lifting up Hugo's trunk and storing it in a compartment.

"Rose, let's find you a compartment," Hermione was saying. "Where's Al?"

"Ran off the minute he could," Harry answered.

Lily turned to Hugo. "I suppose we're sitting here, then?" she asked. He looked down sheepishly.

"Actually, Lily, the prefects have to go to this meeting…"

"Oh," she said. "Oh, right, whatever. I'll see you later then." She turned to her father and wrapped her arms around his neck as Hugo sped off. "Bye, Daddy." She pecked his cheek.

"Bye, sweetheart," he said, returning the hug. She grabbed her trunk and Meredith's cage and headed into the train with a quick wave to her father.

* * *

><p>Nicholas held tight onto Cecelia's hand as he headed through the barrier. She winced, expecting a collision, but instead, she fell right through. It was not her first time by any means, but it always awed her when she saw the train, the fog, and the people.<p>

A moment later, Oliver Wood headed through the barrier. He clapped a hand to Nicholas' shoulder. "Ready?"

"Yeah, I'm going to go find a compartment," Nicholas said. "Bye, Dad." He gave his father a quick hug, and then turned to Cecelia. "Be good, OK?" She nodded and sniffled, wiping a tear from her eye.

"Don't go!" she cried, pulling at his hand. He crouched down so his head was just shorter than hers. "Don't go!"

"I have to, Cee, I'm sorry. But I'll see you at Christmas, won't I? Be good for Mum and Dad. I'll see you so soon. Time will fly." He pulled her into a hug, and felt her arms wrap around him so tightly that he thought she would cut off circulation. When he pulled back, she was crying even harder.

"I'm gonna miss you," she mumbled, rubbing her eye.

"I'll miss you more, Cee," he said, and then pulled her for another hug. "I love you."

With that, he squeezed her hand and let go, turning away. He started towards the train with his things. Feeling like shit, he started to find a compartment, until – "HEY!"

Lorcan and Lysander popped out from behind a compartment door, smiling goofily, their blonde hair flopping around their faces. They were the mirror image of each other, almost. With drifty grey eyes and lopsided smiles, only a lucky few could tell them about. Nicholas was one of them.

"Hey," he greeted. They grabbed his trunk and owl, and stored it up with their own. He was about to find a seat when he noticed a small redhead in the corner, laughing at the boys.

"Look who we picked up," Lysander said, settling himself beside the redhead.

"A stray," Lorcan said.

"Poor thing," said Lysander.

"I'm not a stray!" She rolled her eyes, aiming a small kick at Lysander's ankle. "My friends are all Prefects," she explained to Nicholas. "So I was by myself. Until I found these boys."

"We've never met her," said Lorcan."

"She just jumped at us."

"We had to take her in. Couldn't leave her."

"I'm Lily," the girl said loudly over the boys. Nicholas sat himself beside Lorcan, right opposite Lily.

"We didn't introduce them!" cried Lorcan, smacking a hand to his forehead.

"Why didn't we introduce them?" agonized Lysander dramatically.

"Ah, we should have introduced them!"

"I wish we'd introduced them."

"The famous Lily," he smiled. "I'm Nicholas."

"Oh, the famous Nicholas."

"I didn't know I was famous," Nicholas shrugged.

"They mention you a lot," Lily replied.

"You, too."

"We call him Nicko," Lysander piped up. "Feel free to follow our lead."

"I wouldn't follow your lead if you tortured me, Sand," Lily joked. Finally, things were starting to look up.

* * *

><p>Al dragged his trunk behind him as he made his way through the train. He gave a small wave to Michael Creevey in another compartment before trundling on. He didn't realize he'd died until he saw an angel staring at him.<p>

"Hey!" Sarah greeted, beaming. "I was just looking for you! Listen our compartment is all the way – "

"Actually," he said slowly, feeling a flush creep up his neck, "I have to go the prefects' compartment, just quickly – "

"Oh." Her face fell.

"Yeah, sorry, it shouldn't take long, I'll see you at the end. Mind if I put my stuff…?"

"Oh, yeah, just go down the end," she smiled. "You can't miss it. I have to find someone." She left him standing there, and he sighed as he made his way up to the compartment.

But what he saw surprised him. It was not an empty compartment, as he had stupidly assumed. Instead, it was almost completely full. Albus recognized almost all of them at once as people in his year whom he got on well with, but hardly liked. His stomach jolted dramatically when he saw Elizabeth sitting beside a McLaggen, an annoying git in his year. He hadn't expected to see that at all. She turned to look at who had just entered, and her face fell when she saw him.

"Hey, Albus," she said quietly. "I didn't know you sat here."

"Yeah, just for today." He grabbed his trunk and heaved it up into the rack. "I didn't know you sat here, McLaggen."

"I don't usually. I'm waiting for my girlfriend."

"Your – "

Suddenly Albus was pushed into a seat as someone bustled into the compartment, falling onto McLaggen's lap. Al saw a streak of blonde hair and his stomach hit the floor as he watched Sarah passionately kiss McLaggen. She pulled away and press her cheek to his, addressing Al.

"Hey! Met everyone?" she asked brightly.

"Yeah, I have to go though… excuse me…"

He pulled himself out of the compartment and stumbled down the corridor to the other end of the train. He didn't know what was worse: Sarah having a boyfriend, or the idea of Elizabeth getting a boyfriend so quickly, like he'd first thought. He decided on the former, and heaved gloomily into the prefect's compartment. The compartment that he was in charge of, which was full of only the boys (a few of the Slytherin boys Al recognized from his parties, and instantly disliked – possibly since he had seen them locking lips with his sister at said parties. Not that that was rare, if he hated everybody who kissed his sister he'd have to hate the entire male population of Hogwarts). He sighed, stared down at the list he had gone over with Willow Gregory, the Head Girl, earlier. "Alright, we may as well begin…"

* * *

><p>Rose breathed a sigh of relief as she reached one of the last compartments in the Slytherin deemed area of the train. A blonde sat inside, his face against the window, watching the train pull away from the station with a dull expression in his eyes. Rose slid open the compartment door, but he didn't move. She sat on the other seat and patted his knee. He lifted his eyes to her but didn't smile.<p>

"Hi," she said.

"Hi," he mumbled back.

"Good to see you being social," she commented lightly. "We wouldn't want you to sulk alone."

His lips twitched into an almost-smile. She rubbed his knee. "Hey," she said softly. "Don't be mad. I'm sorry, OK?"

"It's fine," he said, but as he spoke, his knee jerked out of her grip. She exhaled and sat back.

"It's clearly not. Let's talk about it."

"Nothing to say."

"Well, let's at least go to the Prefects meeting, OK? You skipped out last time, they were really pissed, remember?" She stood up and reached for his hand, and after a moment, he took it and let her lead him to the meeting. There was so much to fix, but it was a start.

* * *

><p>Just as Hannah had predicted, Friday morning was busier than ever. Ginny, as she had promised, stayed upstairs, leaning against the staircase railing to hear a familiar voice. The place was packed, and everybody seemed to be talking at once. The sound of the entrance bell went off every few seconds. Ginny could just make out what some people were saying.<p>

"He's so big, I can't believe it, he's already at Hogwarts," a woman blubbered.

"My son, Tobias, he's in his third year."

"Yeah, she was nervous, but not as nervous as some others."

"They didn't linger. Disappeared the moment we went through the barrier. It's been a long time since they needed a hug from me to see them off."

The last voice had Ginny swaying on her feet, her throat constricted. She could have recognized that voice anywhere. It was the one reason she knew she was not allowed downstairs. But he was so close… A few steps and they would see each other again, she knew it. But the sound of his voice had her so close to tears that she knew she wouldn't be able keep it together if she saw him. And he was talking about her children… her children, who had just left for Hogwarts… Al must be at least in his seventh year, preparing for NEWTs. Lily would be stressing over OWLs. She imagined seeing them off in her head. The crashing reality occurred to her when she realized she couldn't imagine their faces.

The sound of footsteps coming up the stairs made Ginny jump and back away from the banister. She had only made it three steps down the hall when a voice made her turn around.

"Ginny?" It was Hannah. Ginny took a deep breath and turned around to see Hannah's raging face. "I thought I told you to make yourself scarce."

"I am scarce. I haven't been downstairs at all."

"Ginny…"

"Do you need me to go do any bartending?" she asked hopefully. Hannah's lips twitched into an almost smile.

"I need you to stay out of the way."

Ginny sighed. "Fine. Sorry, Hannah."

Once again, he'd slipped from her reach.

* * *

><p><p>

"I spy sadness."

"Lysander, that's not how you play. You have to have a thing – and you can't say what it is."

"Then I spy… Nicholas."

Lily buried her head in her hands to stop herself laughing too loud. Nicholas rolled his eyes and sighed. They'd been explaining for hours how to play simple time passing games for an hour while the train rushed through the countryside. Unfortunately, neither Lorcan nor Lysander could sit through all their terrible ideas. Lorcan pulled out a Gobstones set, but it had been jinxed so the pieces constantly flew off it and rolled around on the floor; they tired of exploding snap. Lily had a few of Weasley's Wizard Wheezes that lasted for a half hour. At this point the trolley came round offering sweets, and the boys stacked up. Nicholas offered her a licorice wand, but she refused and stepped out of the compartment.

"Where are you going?" asked Lysander, who was high on licorice and Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans. He hadn't hesitated as he ate the whole packed, regardless of flavour.

"I might go see some other friends," she shrugged. "I do have them, you know."

He waved her off and said, "I'll save you some chocolate frogs." But she'd slammed the compartment shut before she heard.

She made her way through the compartments, until she looked into one and found her friends. She pulled open the compartment door and beamed at them. They were all playing with a pygmy puff of Phillipa Benny's. They all greeted Lily as she pulled up next to Phillipa.

There were only three in the compartment this time. It seemed, at least. All of them were Slytherins. In the corner was Briony Parkinson. Petting the pygmy puff was Phillipa, and beside her was Josie Rosier. Josie, of all of them, was Lily's best friend. She was shy and quiet, but she knew how to act, all the time, to get what she wanted. She had light brown hair that fell straight beside her face and a fringe that fell just before her eyes. Her face was kind and soft, and she'd been Lily's first friend at Hogwarts, when she was first sorted into Slytherin. She'd been nice, almost as scared as Lily was, since her whole family had been in Hufflepuff. And they had expanded their friendships, and well… here they were.

"Hey," Josie said to Lily as she reached out to pat the Pygmy puff. "Where were you?"

"I was hanging with the Scamanders and their friend," she said casually. Briony looked up.

"The Scamanders? Why?" This was nothing new to Lily, who knew Briony to be as ugly inside as out. She had dark hair to match her dark eyes, and it hung limply around her face. Nevertheless, Lily looked innocently into Briony's face that slightly resembled a dog and told her.

"Because they're my friends," she said sharply. Briony sneered but said no more. Josie giggled.

"They are weird, though," agreed. Phillipa. Phillipa was rather large, but half as mean as Briony.

"You just have to get to know them."

"And have you been, you know, _getting to know them?" _asked Josie, wiggling her eyebrows. Lily stuck her tongue out at her.

"That's sick, they're my friends."

"So we've heard."

Lily shook her head and looked outside. The sun was still high, but the country whirred past them. "So none of you got prefect?" she asked, changing the subject. They all shook their head.

"It was Arietta White," said Josie, flashing Lily an innocent smile. "She got it."

"Of course she did," sighed Lily. Arietta White was an overachiever. She was always right in everything, she always did well, she was everybody's favourite.

"We all said it would be Jose, didn't we?" said Briony. Lily laughed with them.

"Who wouldn't have thought it would be Josie?" Lily agreed. Josie frowned at her.

"I wrote you and told you it wasn't me, remember?"

"Vaguely," winked Lily. And once again they immersed themselves in idle chatter about who was where, what boys were cute, who to hook up with, who was taken, and why nobody was off snogging the nearest boy…

* * *

><p>The prefects meeting dragged on for hours, it seemed. Rose sat there, listening to Willow and trying to stay alert. Her mind constantly flew over to Scorpius. How she would fix this. They fought all the time, and they always resolved somehow, but this time it was different. He wasn't giving in with a bat of her eyelids.<p>

"So, if you see a student running around at odd hours, you know what to do," Willow finished. "Any questions? No? Ok, I suppose you'd all better go. We'll be there in a few hours." Breathing a collective sigh of relief, the prefects filed out of their compartment, meeting up with those in Al's compartment. Rose scanned the crowd of prefects making their way to the front of the train, searching madly until she saw a glint of silvery blonde hair heading up the train, a few paces ahead of her. She squeezed through the crowds and reached for his hand. He jumped and looked at her, his jaw set.

"Hey," she smiled. He said nothing, but didn't take his hand away. They were silent as they headed back to the compartment and sat down. It was still completely empty. "Hey," she said again. "Talk to me."

"I don't want to talk, Rose," he said sharply. She reeled back like she'd been hit.

"Please? I'm sorry about what I said. I was just a little pissed, and I was meddling. You were right." The words tasted sour.

"Fine. I was right," he said casually. She leaned over and kissed him on the lips. He hardly made an effort to kiss back, but did not deny her.

"Then we're good?" she asked.

"Perfect," he smiled. But his smile didn't reach his eyes that had gone very cold.

* * *

><p><em>October 4, 2015<em>

_She left Bill's early the next morning. Before any of the family members had awoken, she dressed herself in the clothes she had packed, muttering a quick spell to clean the pajamas Fleur had lent her for the night. The sky was a pastel pink and orange colour as the sun rose slowly in the sky. Nobody in the house stirred. It was completely silent. _

_Ginny grabbed her purse and gently slid open the door. With a quick scan around the room, making sure she was quite alone, she pulled out her wand and conjured a quill and some parchment. She scribbled a note, left it on the table, and gently slid out the front door. She didn't allow herself to think of what she had just done. _

_As she Disapparated, she only focused on where she needed to go. She didn't think of Harry, lying awake somewhere. She didn't think of her children, waiting for her, hoping she'd walk through the door. She didn't think of her parents, crying in their home. She didn't think of Bill and Fleur, waking up to a note with only an apology and thanks. And she didn't think of the older brother, enjoying his night in his house in Romania, only to be disturbed by the little sister he hadn't seen in years._

* * *

><p>Hugo pushed his way through the crowds that were slowly thinning as people disappeared into compartments. Hugo poked his head into each one, looking for Lily, but he couldn't find her in any. He'd gone a fair way up the train when he was shoved roughly from behind. He spun around, annoyed.<p>

"What's your problem?" he asked angrily. He found himself inches away from Rogerson Nott, a tall, lanky, dark haired figure who loomed over him. Beside him was Togas Davis, a weedy looking kid. Both were rarely seen without the other, so it was unfortunate that Togas was not a prefect.

"Move," Nott grunted. Hugo complied, only because he didn't want to start a fight. Nott pushed past him and opened the door to the compartment beside him. Relief filled Hugo as he saw who sat in the compartment.

"Lily," he called as the boys slid into the compartment and Nott instantly started to snog Briony. Lily sighed and a chorus of "Aw, bye!" echoed in the compartment as she stepped out.

"Nott's a freak," Lily said as they headed away from the compartment, looking back in disgust.

"I thought you liked him," he frowned.

"I said I could relate to him, not that I like him," she clarified, crossing her arms. "His dad left."

"How sad," Hugo said, though he hardly sounded compassionate.

"It is sad. Where are we going anyway?" she asked. They'd been walking mindlessly, though Hugo seemed to have a location in mind. He stopped and nodded into a compartment to his left. Lily looked into it and saw who was inside it.

Louis was laughing at something Teddy had said, and was trying to get a chance to attack Teddy. They seemed to be learning a form of Kung Fu, or at least they looked like it. Lily looked at Hugo.

"I can't," she said simply, taking a step back. "I'm meeting Lorcan and Lysander."

It was not at all that she felt compelled to meet the boys. She knew that holed up in a small compartment with Teddy, she could not avoid him as she had been doing for the last few days. Teddy knew her as well as Hugo did. Better than anybody in her family. The difference was that Hugo was thick, and Teddy could see right through her. She knew as soon as she looked him in the eye, he would know something was wrong, that something inside her had broken. Hugo was never as perceptive.

He looked crestfallen and annoyed. "Fine," he said, and his voice was a mix between the two, as though he couldn't decide what to feel. "I'll see you later then."

"I'm sorry!" she said as she turned around and started back to Lorcan and Lysander's compartment.

She found, when she slid open the door, a strange scene. Wrappers scattered the floor and the seats. Lorcan and Lysander were asleep, leaning on each other, snoring loudly. Looking completely unperturbed was Nicholas, who was sitting in the same spot, with a copy of _Which Broomstick? _in his hands. He smiled politely at Lily as she sat down, moving some candy wrappers to get to her seat.

"They conked off about half an hour after you left," he explained. "Too much sugar, I think. I shouldn't've let them buy it." He shook his head, grinning.

"Yeah," Lily agreed, watching Lysander. She gently pushed a piece of hair out of his eyes. "They can fall asleep anywhere. I've always been jealous of it."

"Ah, yeah, same," Nicholas said. Suddenly he reached behind him. "They saved you some frogs, true to their word."

She accepted them gratefully, ripping one open and grabbing it before she lost it. Nicholas pulled out one of his own.

"I've been collecting since I was about five," he said as he opened his. "Ah! Damn. I got another Hermione Granger. Do you need her?" Lily shook her head.

"I have enough of her at home," Lily said.

"Oh," he laughed. "Right. I forgot. Who'd you get?"

"Rowena Ravenclaw. Here, have her." She handed Nicholas her card and sat back.

"Thanks, I have none of her. Heaps of Harry Potter, though, would you believe. I bet you've got enough of him. You don't collect?"

"No. I know half of them anyway, why do I need to read about them?" Suddenly she spotted the magazine he'd discarded. "Oh, you play Quidditch?"

"Yeah, my whole family's into it. My dad plays for Puddlemere United."

The passed the hours talking about Quidditch, which seemed to carry them far. He loved it as much as she did, which was appropriate since he was Quidditch captain for Ravenclaw. They talked about their parents (Lily conveniently forgot to mention her mother) and their families. Their conversation paused only when they changed into their robes. As the train started to slow and Hogsmeade station came into view, Lily found herself wishing that they had a few more hours. They prodded the boys awake and got ready to go.

* * *

><p>"Does Lily hate me or something?" asked Teddy. He looked at Hugo who had just settled himself into a seat and was watching Louis try to pull one on Teddy.<p>

"Nah, she's just popular, don't take it hard," said Hugo. He reached over and grabbed a packet of Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans from beside Teddy. "That's just her."

"Yeah, well – Louis, _stop, _you got me, mercy – I don't blame her. Who'd want to hang out with a teacher?"

"What, you think I'm here because I have nothing better to do?" asked Hugo, feigning offence.

"Aren't you?" cheeked Louis.

Hugo's ears went red. "_No, _I have friends besides Lily. I'm here because I want to be," he said proudly.

"It won't get you any extra credit, I'm afraid," Teddy chuckled. Hugo chucked a Bogey flavoured bean at him and missed.

"Do you miss Vic yet?" asked Hugo.

"More than you could imagine," said Teddy. Hugo and Louis pulled a face.

_"How?" _

"You'll know one day, Louis, when you fall in love."

"Nah, I doubt it. I'm a solo man."

"Another way of saying you repel girls?" Hugo said. Louis kicked him.

"No fighting, boys," Teddy scolded, though his eyes were light.

"Sorry, _Professor,_" said Louis.

"There's no way in hell I'm calling you professor," Hugo said.

"You will if you don't want detention every night," said Teddy.

"You wouldn't put us in detention! It won't even be boring. It's impossible for you to make anything boring."

"If you mess about, I might. And not with me. With Filch."

Hugo and Louis both gave loud moans of complaint. Suddenly, Hugo noticed Hogwarts coming into the distant view. "We're nearly there," he announced. "I have to go patrol. Sorry, boys."

Louis gave a loud boo as Hugo left the compartment to patrol the corridors.

* * *

><p>Lily's stomach gave an excited jolt as she grabbed her trunk and Meredith's cage.<p>

"Cute cat," Nicholas said as he picked up his own trunk.

"Thanks," Lily said. She peered into the cage. Meredith seemed to be asleep with her bum towards Lily. "I think she's mad because I didn't let her out."

They shuffled through the corridor and out onto the station. The sky was almost dark, and the light from the train illuminated everybody. The familiar "firs' years over 'ere, firs' years," came every closer as Lily found herself being dragged by the crowd towards Hagrid. He waved as she followed the crowd.

"Alrigh', Lily?" he called as she passed. She nodded and waved, but could not stop. She didn't know who was behind her, she didn't know where she was being led, but she was confident it was towards the carriages. Finally, she felt the crowd start to thin as people filed into carriages. Lily turned, her eyes searching madly in the half-darkness for a familiar face, preferable Hugo or Josie, when a bright, slightly dazed looking Lysander appeared in front of her.

"Here," he said, opening the door of one of the carriages and climbing in. Lily was about to climb in afterwards when something stopped her. She recoiled.

Standing in front of the carriages was something Lily had never seen before. They had not been there years before. But Lily new exactly what they were. She had been told, numerous times, that they were there, that she would never be able to see them, hopefully, but they were harmless… But the black, skeletal winged horses looked hardly harmless. In fact, they looked rather ugly. Al and James had both tried to scare her with them when she first started Hogwarts, teasing her and saying that if she turned her back, they'd eat her. But her dad had told her they would not. She couldn't see them, but most of the adults could. He didn't say why, but it was not hard to figure out. But as she stared into the black eyes, well aware that Lysander was watching her like she was insane, she could not help but remember the reason she could see them. Bile rose up from her stomach as she tried to suppress it –

"Hey, you coming?" Nicholas asked from behind her. She spun around. He was standing in front of the carriage door, looking at her. Lysander's blonde head was popping out of the carriage, giving her the same look.

"Yeah," she mumbled, following Nicholas into the carriage and moving over for Lorcan. She didn't mention what she'd seen to anybody the whole ride up to the castle.

* * *

><p>Louis popped up behind Hugo and grabbed his robes, a cocky grin on his face. "We getting in this one, then?" he asked, nodding at one of the carriages that was right in front of Hugo. Hugo didn't answer. His eyes scanned the crowds, looking for Lily. He couldn't see anybody. At one point he saw a flash of ginger hair and gasped, until he realized it was only Rose.<p>

He sighed and pulled himself into a carriage beside Louis. He was surprised when Teddy climbed in after him. He hadn't seen him appear.

"Can't shake me that easily," Teddy winked as he shut the compartment door and the carriage started to trundle up the road to the castle. Hugo said nothing as he watched the tall stone pillars topped with winged boars on either side of the gates pass them, and they entered Hogwarts castle. It was completely dark by now, and the looming cast was a mass of twinkling lights against the dark sky, almost indistinguishable.

The carriage rattled to a halt in front of the stone steps and Hugo climbed out, his stomach twisting anxiously as he watched students from other carriages head up the steps. In the darkness, there was no hope of seeing Lily. Followed immediately by Louis, Hugo headed up the steps before he realized Teddy wasn't with them.

"Where's Teddy gone?" he asked Louis, who shrugged.

"Maybe there's a special teachers entrance. Come on, I don't want to miss the sorting." He grabbed Hugo's arm and pulled him up the steps with the rest of the school. As he made his way through the entrance hall, ablaze with light and noise, he kept his eye out. He gave up when he entered the great hall.

The four tables were already half full, beneath an enchanted ceiling that reflected the starless sky above it. Hugo headed over to the Gryffindor table and took his place next to his fellow Gryffindor and friend, Mark McGuire. Louis headed over to the other seventh years and took his seat with them.

"Hey," Mark greeted. "How was your holiday?"

"Pleasant enough." He said distractedly. The racket of conversation and footsteps echoed throughout the hall, and the constant stream of students coming into the hall made it difficult to see the Slytherin table. Hugo squinted for a flash of red hair. Finally, he spotted her, sitting at her house table in her Slytherin robes. She had her feet tucked under her (he assumed so – unless she'd magically grown three inches over the train ride) and was pushing her hair out of her eyes as she frowned in concentration. Talking in her ear was a boy Hugo recognised as Sid Flint. Finally he stopped, and she sat still for a moment, then shrugged her shoulders and mumbled something back. Hugo turned away, feeling, like he had been more often, like he had been left behind.

As soon as he turned back around, the doors to the entrance hall opened. Professor Winters strode into the hall, followed closely by the terrified first years. Professor Winter was a middle-aged, strict woman, who always cut her blonde hair very short around her very thin face. She'd taught Muggle Studies for as long as Hugo could remember, and was Head of Hufflepuff house, not to mention Deputy Headmistress. This accounted for the fact that he never saw her, since he was not in Hufflepuff and did not take Muggle Studies. In her hands, she held a stool and on top of that stool was the sorting hat.

Hugo heard a first year near him say: "I think I'm going to fail."

His friend seemed to have some comforting words, though. "Yeah, and they'll kick you out."

A girl near them whispered, "It asks you questions, and makes you do all these quests. And if you miss one of them, you go to Hufflepuff. My sister told me – she's a Ravenclaw."

Hugo couldn't help but laugh at this one. She had quite an imagination. The Sorting hat began to sing its familiar song, in which he talked of the four houses and their origins. The first years stared in awe, but Hugo rested his chin in his hands and waited until it was over. Occasionally he glimpsed over at Lily, but whenever he did, he saw her listening intently to something someone was trying to whisper to her, all clearly growing bored of the song.

The sorting took place even more slowly. Hugo twiddled his thumbs as he waited for it to end with 'Bleu, Emanuel' being sorted into Hufflepuff. Finally, it did just that, and Professor Goldsmith, the headmaster, stood up.

Professor Goldsmith had been there since before even Teddy started. He'd taken over from Professor McGonagall, whom Hugo had never met but knew all about, when she retired in 2008. He was a small man, and in Hugo's father's opinion, 'more of a nutter than Dumbledore, but without the wisdom'. He was middle-aged, with a receding grey hairline. He'd been in Ravenclaw when he attended, well before his parents or Uncle Harry had attended. That was the reason Ravenclaw had become almost as respected as Gryffindor.

"Welcome to Hogwarts," he announced in a loud voice, beaming at the students. Hugo heard Mark's stomach rumble. "To those who are joining us – welcome. And those who are joining us again – welcome back. Without further ado, I give you – the feast!"

The gold platters that littered the table were suddenly alight with food, and the first years at the end of the table dropped their jaws. Hugo helped himself to a bit of everything, occasionally turning around to check on his cousin. She was still talking, or rather listening, and picking at her chicken with her fork. Hugo turned away when she gave a loud laugh, and looked up at the staff table for Teddy. He was there, his hair a respectable gold colour, and he was immersed in a conversation with Professor Flitwick.

Hugo couldn't help but feel even more annoyed when the feast ended, and Professor Goldsmith sent them off to bed. Having to lead first years to the common room was the last thing he wanted to do. He let Myer Carmichael do most of the work. She was his co-prefect and took her job very seriously. She pointed out everything they needed to know, and occasionally Hugo perked up with something to add, but let her do all the work.

When he was finally relieved of his duties and his corridor patrol, he headed straight to bed. None of his dormitory mates were there – he knew they were all in the common room. As his head hit the pillow, he found himself thinking about all the shit he'd gone through that day. The fun of summer was clearly gone, and he'd enjoyed having Lily all to himself. It was nice, having a friend like her, but now that she was back here that wasn't possible. She had too many to make time for him. And with OWLs approaching this year, he already knew he was in for a ride. He found himself almost wishing he hadn't boarded the train at all.

* * *

><p><strong>Ta da. Thank you if you reviewed or read :) I'm sorry, this is the last time I'm changing the summary... I think...<strong>

**xx Juls**


	5. Kiss and Tell

**"**_Did some things you can't speak of_

_But at night you live it all again_

_You wouldn't be shattered on the floor now_

_If only you'd seen what you know now, then._

_Wasn't it beautiful running wild until you fell asleep_

_Until the monsters caught up to you."_

_- _Innocent by Taylor Swift.

The next morning, Lily was dragging herself down to the common room when a shady looking Scorpius came up to her. He had his hands in his pockets and his eyes were darting around madly, avoiding hers.

"Have you talked to Rose lately?" he mumbled to her.

"No, why?"

"Nothing. If you see her, tell her I'm sorry, would you?" He shook his head and walked away, leaving Lily frowning in his wake. It was no doubt strange behaviour, and Lily made a mental note to talk to Rose. She pulled herself into an armchair and waited for Josie, who arrived ten minutes later. Together, they departed for the Great Hall.

The problem with September first falling on a Friday was that they got their timetables and then didn't need to do anything for a whole weekend. But Lily could hardly complain. Josie sure couldn't.

"This is going to be great, isn't it? I've never had a day where I don't have to rush off the day after we get back. I'm not sure what I want to do."

"Well, there's the party tonight," Briony said. She had just appeared behind them as Lily had settled herself at the Slytherin table, which was only called that because once upon a time, it was only for Slytherins. People never bothered to sit in their houses anymore; anybody sat anywhere and talked to anybody. As Lily looked around, she noticed a Slytherin comparing his timetable with a Ravenclaw, while a small Hufflepuff first year looked at them fearfully.

"Are you going?" Lily asked distractedly as she helped herself to half a slice of toast.

"I haven't decided," shrugged Josie.

At that point, Leon Novak, a Gryffindor sitting near them, looked at Lily. "You going?"

"I doubt I'll get in," Lily shrugged casually, avoiding his glare. He was a small, rather unattractive boy in her year. He shook his head.

"Sure you will. You can come with me, if you like. I'll get you in," he winked. Lily caught Josie's eye and saw that she was suppressing a laugh. It was common knowledge that Leon had had a crush on her since third year.

"Well, it's her brother's party, isn't it? So there's no chance she'll get in."

"I thought it was always your brother's party," Briony said.

"No, sometimes it's Scorpius', so I get in." She shook her head.

"Then come with me,"Leon said again.

Wanting nothing more than to drop the subject, Lily shrugged. "I'll think about it."

Leon looked as though Christmas had come early. Lily was about to tell Josie about Scorpius when she saw Josie's attention was diverted. Professor Evercreech, the head of Slytherin house, was coming around and handing out timetables. Occasionally he would hand out one to someone who wasn't in his house and snatch it back with a sneer on his face.

Professor Evercreech had been hired just after the war, according to Lily's father. He was the Potions master, like the two before him. He was incredibly short, but round, with a dirty blonde comb-over that would cause Briony to make retching sounds. He always pretended not to hear, though. He wasn't mean – in fact, he rather like Lily, probably because of who her father was.

"Good morning, Professor," Lily said cheerily as she accepted her timetable.

"Good morning, Lily," he smiled and handed Briony and Josie their timetables. Before Briony could make any retching noises, Lily spoke.

"Oh, look, History of Magic on Monday, first! And then double Potions with the Gryffindors …" When Lily looked up at Josie to see if she shared this hatred, she had her fist in her mouth, trying hard not to laugh. Her eyes were on Leon, who Lily saw was now punching the air in happiness. She quickly looked away.

"I can't believe it," Josie gushed as they headed out into the grounds. "A whole weekend. And no homework." Lily said nothing as they settled themselves under a tree and lay down in the sun.

It became quite apparent that day that Lily and Nicholas technically should never have met. He was a sixth year; she was a fifth. He was a Ravenclaw; she was a Slytherin. Their only connection was two insane boys.

* * *

><p>"Ah, this is going to be the best year yet," Lysander sighed as he looked over his timetable. He nudged Nicholas. "Free periods. And it starts on a Saturday. If that's not great, I don't know what is."<p>

Nicholas nodded distractedly as they headed out to their usual weekend spot by the lake. As usual, it was busy, but expansive – not to mention that nobody dared get in the way of a sixth year. Except seventh years, of course. Nicholas settled himself under the shade of a beech tree and lay down, while the boys parrotted each other on nonsense that he didn't hear…

"Nicholas!"

That wasn't the boys. Nicholas bolted upright as his stomach knotted. Coming towards him was Alexis, seemingly having departed her usual chaperone of friends that accompanied her everywhere. She came right up to him, her shiny dark hair flouncing behind her back and her ivory skin flushed from the jounrey across the grounds. "Hi!" she beamed.

"Hi," he returned with less enthusiasm. She sat herself down beside him.

"You didn't write to me this summer," she complained.

"Yeah, I did! Loads of times, didn't you get them?" She shook her head. "My damn owl. Always getting lost." He shook his head dramatically. She didn't look convinced. He hadn't written to her at all, truth be told. In fact, their family owl was the best they could have wanted and had never gotten lost. But she didn't know that, and he decided to keep it that way.

"Well, we're still good, aren't we?" she asked. She pulled herself up to stare into his eyes with her dark ones, and Nicholas, like always, was overcome by her beauty, her undivided attention, the dream he always thought he was living when she entered his presence because nobody that beautiful could ever have chosen him, the girl he used to fawn over…

And with all this in mind, it was no surprise when his mouth moved before his head thought, and said: "Yes, of course."

She smiled. "Great. Then I'll see you at Roar tonight, yeah?" He nodded, and she bounded off, leaving Nicholas dazed by her presence. As soon as she was out of sight, Lysander clapped a hand in front of his friend's face and the spell her presence had put him under was broken.

"You're going to Roar tonight?" asked Lorcan, who had stopped to watch the interaction.

"Oh, yeah. I was thinking about it. Seems like fun, doesn't it? Seventh years always are."

"Mm. Maybe I'll score with someone," Lysander said dreamily.

"Like hell," Lorcan and Nicholas said together.

Roar had nothing to do with lions. It referred to the party, usually held by seventh years (almost always Albus Potter or Scorpius Malfoy) that took place in the Room of Requirement. There was next to no warning, but everybody somehow knew when the next party was. Usually it was after a significant event, hence the reason it was on the day school started. Originally, it was commonly referred to as 'the party in the Room of Requirement' shortened to 'party in the RoR' (pronounced roar) and then 'the RoR'. But since it was so pronounced, it became simply 'Roar.' Roars were pretty legendary. Anybody was welcome as long as you didn't bring a teacher or anything.

And as the boys cried over each other to express their excitement, Nicholas mentally attacked himself for what he had just done. It was going to cost him.

* * *

><p>Lily found Rose quickly. She was heading down the grounds along with the rest of the school, except she was easier to spot, mainly because she was so pale she reflected the sun and she was the only one with red hair. Lily lifted herself up from the ground and ran up to her, calling her name. She ignored the cries of protest and confusion from behind her.<p>

"Rose!" she called breathlessly as she fell into step with her cousin, who did little to acknowledge her presence. It was clear she was angry at something. "Rose? Scorpius wants to tell you he's sorry."

"Tell him," she said sharply, continuing her stride to where Lily had no idea. "That if he's going to use you as a human owl he better be paying you."

Lily didn't laugh. "What's going on between you?" she asked.

She shrugged. "Nothing. He's just being his usual pricky self."

"What did he do?"

Rose threw herself onto the ground on a spot by the lake that had not been claimed. "He's just so hot and cold. I'm getting sick of it. Now he's trying to win me over again." She huffed, and added: "You wouldn't understand."

Lily understood plenty, but was not stupid enough to argue with Rose. "Right. Sorry. Well, yeah, that's what he said. This is between you. I'll see you around."

As she started to pull herself up, Rose said, "Six sickles."

"What?"

"Six sickles. That's how much he should be paying you. Don't ask for anything less."

"Er… right. Have a good one, then."

Lily, feeling rather like a failed cupid, headed back up slowly to find her friends again. She almost jumped when a black haired boy with thick eyebrows jumped in front of her.

"Oh," she sighed, catching her breath. "Hi, Sid."

"Hi," he mumbled back, and then wasted no time attacking her lips with his. She let him indulge for only a second, and then pushed him back.

"What on earth-?" she started, annoyed.

"We're going out now, aren't we? You said so yesterday! At the feast, remember? I have a direct quote, if you want one – "

"Yeah, I remember," she grumbled. "But I said casual, not suck my face off every chance you get."

"Sorry," he shrugged. She didn't bother to say anything and continued up to the grass. Unfortunately for her, he fell into step beside her, and she couldn't see her friends anywhere. "Are you going to the Roar?" he asked. "I heard they actually hired out the house elves to make all the food from the feast. And some of the boys are getting some muggle stuff, I dunno what they call it but…"

Lily didn't listen but kept her eyes peeled for the first sign of a distraction. She was regretting the decision to go out with him already. She had said yes more out of annoyance than anythng. She'd wanted to be alone with her thoughts and everybody was talking at her, so she said yes to everybody without thinking.

A welcome distraction came in the form of Hugo, looking solemn and sulky as though the sun was killing him. She wouldn't have been surprised. She flagged him down and he changed course to head over to her and Sid.

"Hey, homo," Sid said gruflly when Hugo approached them. "Sucked any cock yet?"

"Shut up, Sid," Lily said quickly. The boy scowled and skulked off in the opposite direction. Hugo stared at him with contempt until he was out of sight, oblivious to Lily trying to get his attention.

"HEY!" she finally cried. He snapped up and looked at her.

"What?"

"I haven't seen you since last night. Catch me up."

"Nothing to catch up on," he shrugged. He was still staring at where Sid had gone off to.

"Ignore him," Lily mumbled. "He's just – "

"Yeah, whatever. He's your boyfriend. Just don't expect me to want to hang around him to much."

"Fine." Hugo was being too rude to enjoy his company. Lily had seen him like this a few times, though usually it came after calls like that. "I'm going to go meet some friends. I'll talk to you later, OK? Just ignore them, they can't hurt you."

She waved as she walked off, and found her friends where she'd left them.

It turned out they could hurt him. As night drew and Lily headed inside, she found Louis laughing his head off as he came round the corner of the hallway. "What?" she asked, upon seeing him in stitches.

"You. Should. See. Hugo," he said, emphasising each word as he gained back his breaths. "He's in the – hospital – wing – and – its just – too funny!"

With that, he ran off, and Lily almost ran to the hospital wing, her stomach bubbling in fear...

"Where's the fire?"

Lily stopped and spun around. Staring at her with a grin was Nicholas Wood, the boy from the train.

"Hopsital Wing," Lily said coolly. His smile dropped.

"Who?"

"My cousin," she said.

"Want company?"

Remembering Louis' words, Lily decided that whatever Hugo had was probably rather embarrassing. "No, thanks." So she turned around, leaving him rather confused and probably disappointed, and headed to the hopsital wing.

She didn't see him at first. He was obscured by Madam Pomfrey, the matron. She was busting around him and by the sound of it, he was putting up a fight. "I'm fine, I don't need to – argh, no – I'm fine, can I go? No, I don't need –"

"Hugo!" she called as she made her way over to him. She nearly jumped back in fright when she saw him, before doubling over with laughter to rival Louis'.

Hugo's face, usually bright red, was now rainbow coloured. It seeped into his skin and went across his face as though it was a trick of the light, only much more solid. It looked like he couldn't make up his mind. Lily tried to close her lips to stop herself laughing too hard.

"What happened?"

"Hex," he mumbled as Madam Pomfrey held his chin up and tapped her wand to his face, muttering under her breath.

"Who?" she asked, no longer laughing. Hugo scowled.

"Who do you think?"

"Oh, Hugo, I'm so – "

"It wasn't your fault," he said, although his tone implied the exact opposite. "I don't think I'll be _Roar_-ing tonight though."

"Maybe not," she agreed. They said nothing for a while as Madam Pomfrey continued to tap her wand to his nose, and the hex started to fade. Fifteen minutes later, Lily was walking him to his common room.

"Great start to the year," he grumbled.

"It'll get better," she assured him as he told the fat lady the password and let himself in.

"Whatever. I'll see you later. You Roar-ing it?"

"I was going to try," she said helplessly. She gave him a wave as he climbed through the portrait hole and the fat lady swung shut behind him.

* * *

><p>Albus's first thought of the evening was: <em>Fuck.<em>

It was fuck because he had stubbed his toe. He had stubbed his toe because he had kicked a tree. He had kicked a tree as punishment for his stupidity.

He had been down at the pitch with Scorpius, smoking as leaned against the stands and planned their nightly extravaganza, which tonight was another party to welcome to term. The necessity for self-flagellation had occurred sometime after they had just finished discussing how much firewhiskey to smuggle in, when a certain blonde had made her way down to the pitch in search for Albus. When he saw her coming, his heart skipped a beat.

Scorpius saw her too. He hit Al's arm and grabbed the fag out of his mouth. "See you," he said and headed back up, passing Sarah without a word as he went. Before Al could calm himself, she had appeared before him, smiling politely.

"Hi," she said simply.

"Hi," he said back.

"I wanted to talk to you. I thought that maybe the train ride… well, you didn't seem to be having that much fun," she shrugged.

"No, I was. It was great."

She smiled, but was unconvinced. "So, listen. This party tonight – yours, yes?"

"Yes."

"Great. Well, I was just making sure I'd be able to get in. There's no guest list, is there?"

"No."

"Great, and you'll be there?"

"Yes."

"Then… see you then, I suppose. Bye, Al."

As she walked away, Al waited until she was out of earshot before slapping a hand to his forehead. "Stupid, stupid, stupid!" He slapped himself with every word. Of all interactions, of everything he could have said, he answered her like a parrot.

He started to head back up, his fingers itching for a cigarette. As he approached a tree on his way, he kicked it angrily and stubbed his toe. As he did so, the sun started to fall behind the horizon, and Albus thought, _fuck._

* * *

><p><em>Dear Harry,<em>

_I have her here with me. She's safe and healthy enough. I've got her eating. She sleeps most of the day, but I've been trying to get her out of the house. I've been taking her down to see some of our dragons, but they seem to scare her more than help her._

_She didn't want me to write to you, or tell you she was here, but I feel you should know. She doesn't want to be found, nor does she want you to retrieve her. She seems quite insistent on that, and she's my sister, so I'm not going to drag her._

_Some days are better than others. Bill seems to think she'll be gone in a few days, but she's stuck around thus far. There's something not right about her, though, Harry. Sometimes she smiles and talks, and it's like she used to be, and then other days it's like she isn't there. She can't hear me. She'll scream and fuss and act like a child or she'll talk and laugh like an adult. It's worrysome. She doesn't seem to know what happened, though, most days. She doesn't seem to grasp what she's done. I'm going to take her to the hospital soon, I think. Maybe there's a potion for her._

_Send my regard to the family._

_Charlie._

* * *

><p>"Blue dress, green dress." Briony held both dresses up to her, twirling around and parading them in front of the girls in her dorm. They frowned between the two.<p>

"Blue," voted Lily.

"Blue," Phillipa agreed.

"Blue," finalised Arabella, coming in from the bathroom with a mascara wand in her hand. "I want to borrow the green."

Josie came out from behind her, a string of her hair curled around her wand. She was wearing a simple black shirt, bedazzled at the straps, with black skirt to match and black heels. Her makeup was already done and she pulled herself onto Lily's bed and started to brush the other girl's hair.

"D'you think I'll have a chance with Jase in this?" Phillipa asked, holding up a fitted black dress. Without meeting her eyes, everybody assured her that she would.

Lily pulled herself off the bed and straightened her own dress. It was a navy blue that puffed out slightly at her waist and stopped mid-thigh. She stepped into a pair of small heels to match and headed into the bathroom to do her makeup.

"Wouldn't it be so cool if I got with Scorpius?" said Arabella. She giggled.

"He doesn't go for fifth years," said Briony as Lily applied her eyeliner.

"Just because he never went for _you,_" said Arabella sourly.

"He's not worth it. Come on," said Lily, stopping a squabble before it broke out as she led the girls out of their dorm. The common room was mostly empty, except for the first, second and third years who were not admitted to the Roars. The girls headed over to a large painting of a house on a hill just beside the fireplace. Lily tapped it twice, and it swung forward to admit them.

Secret passages around the school led to almost anywhere. There were so many, you could practically go through any painting and land somewhere new. In every common room, there was one that led straight into the Room of Requirement, curtesy of Al and Scorpius, who had made them. The problem was that how to get the painting to admit you changed every time there was a party, so you needed to keep your ears open. Lily had luckily found out from Sid, and by the look on Philippa's face, she hadn't known at all.

The tunnel was large and spacious, but winding. Lit by torches on brackets and their own wands, the girls made their way through. Lily could see a group of people who had just come before them making their way through as well.

The painting at the other end was open. They could see the flashing lights and hear the pouding music as they made their way through and stepped down into the huge, spacious room, taking in the scene.

Everybody was there. There were no bouncers (seventh years the boys paid to keep an eye on who came in). The darkness was punctured by flashing, multicoloured lights and music Lily recognised to be from _The Nifflers_ practically made the room bounce.

The girls split up there. Instantly, Briony found her boyfriend and headed over to him; Phillipa headed to the middle of the enormous hall and started to dance among the huge crowd already doing so; Arabella scoped out the scene before deciding where to go and Josie gripped Lily's wrist as not to be separated from her as they made their way through the dense smoke and crowds.

Until, of course, she found someone of interest and crept away, leaving Lily alone. Though Lily hardly minded.

She grabbed a firewhiskey first, chatting up some of the boys by the drinks table. The ones that weren't already sucking face with some blonde, that was. After a few, when she found herself sufficiently buzzed (though later, many would argue that she was not buzzed but rather trashed) she made her way to the dance floor.

* * *

><p>Nicholas navigated through the crowds, looking around. He was never into the party scene, and wasn't entirely sure why he was there. However, the reminder appeared in front of him in the form of a black haired girl, slightly tipsy and smiling bright.<p>

"Hey!" she cried drunkenly. "You came! Have you danced?"

He mumbled a 'mhm' but didn't really have any time, because Alexis grabbed his hand and dragged him over to a couch on the edge of the large space. She threw herself onto it and beckoned him onto it as well.

"I'm so glad you came," she said, putting down her drink. "I was so wishing you would come."

"Well, I'm here." Although he wished he wasn't.

Suddenly, she leaned forward, and her lips were on his, and her skin was soft beneath his fingers and her hair smelled like firewhiskey in his nose and all he knew was that he was kissing her, kissing her because he could, kissing her because she was asking him too.

And then she pulled away and wiped her lips and whooped. She pulled herself up without another word and started towards the dance floor, leaving him alone on the couch.

Not alone for long, however. Lysander and Lorcan were quick to jump into the spot next to him, unphased that they had to squeeze uncomfortably.

"HI!" They cried. They too were drunk.

"We saw the scene," Lysander said.

"Nice going," Lorcan agreed.

"Guess who I got with."

"You'll never guess."

"Who?" Nicholas asked tiredly.

"Becky James."

"No shit!" Nicholas said.

"Yeah, she was great. Lor's jealous though, ain't you, mate?" He tapped his brother. Lorcan shook his head.

"Never," he said. "I got babes coming out my arse. Speaking of which…" He spotted a girl and drifted off to hook up with her. Lysander closed his eyes and lean back.

"I'm loving this, man, I'm loving it. You're in with Alexis, then?"

"S'pose so."

"She's a great shag, isn't she?"

"How would you know?" asked Nicholas. Lysander smiled cheekily.

"Just pulling your leg, don't worry. Won't touch her. Come on, I wanna do something."

"You always want to do something."

Suddenly there was screaming.

* * *

><p><em>This party sucks, <em>thought Hugo as he was unintentionally shoved into a wall. The beautiful thing was the darkness covered his face, which was still rather discoloured. The less than beautiful thing was the fact that every prick in the school seemed to cultivate at this party.

"Move, faggot," a seventh year sneered as Hugo passed him to find someone he knew, preferably Lily.

"Who invited the Homo?"

"Careful, he might try to fuck you."

The comments swirled around Hugo as he navigated through the drunk, high students in the Room of Requirement. He balled up his fists, but they followed him wherever he went.

"Dude, don't get near the Homo, it might be contagious." This comment came from Sid Flint, who was holding back his friend, Rogerson Nott, both of whom he hated with a passion. Finally finding someone his own size, he sneered at them.

"Suck my dick," he said roughly. Both boys puffed out their chests. Hugo tried to stand tall. He recognised Togas Davis shrinking behind them.

"How about you suck mine?" Sid scowled, pressing his face close to Hugo's. Unfortunately, he was taller than Hugo. But the redhead refused to let it phase him.

"How can I? According to every girl in the school, there's nothing there. Just a stub."

This was not a smart move.

The first blow was to his stomach. As he doubled over, another one came to his head. But it seemed that was all. As he lifted his head, delirious with pain, he saw Sid being held back by Rogerson and Togas, both of whom were scowling.

"He's not worth it," they muttered. "Just leave it. Not worth it."

Hugo couldn't help but be thankful that they thought this. With one hand on his stomach and the other on his head, he crawled back to the Gryffindor entrance and stumbled through the tunnel, back to his common room. He was in bed, nursing his injuries and thinking about how shit the party was, especially since he was beat up before he'd even been in there five minutes, when the screaming happened. So he never heard it.

* * *

><p>Rose spotted Al sitting in the corner, fag in his mouth, looking disdainful. She made her way over to the lone boy and sat beside him on the couch.<p>

"Some party," he mumbled to her, handing her the cigarette. She inhaled.

"Yeah," she agreed. "You sure can throw them. What's put you in this mood?"

He nodded to a spot on the dancefloor, where Sarah Hart was dancing very close to that McLaggen kid.

"Right," she mumbled, handing back the cigarette.

"You?"

"Scorpius, of course," she mumbled. "The git."

"Ah, he's not that bad!"

Rose glowered. "So you say. I've been avoiding him all night. I think he's looking for me, but I don't care."

"You're so cute when you're in love," Al smiled.

"I'm not in love."

"I think you are – "

"Don't! I'm really not. At least, I think I'm not… Am I?"

He raised his eyebrows. "That's for you to decide, isn't it?"

Rose sighed and took one last drag before pulling herself up. "We'll see."

It took twenty minutes to find him. Unsurprisingly, he was the heart of the party, thwarted by a group of adorers. He wasn't looking for her anymore. "Rosie!" he cried and jumped up to pull her into a hug. He smelled of firewhiskey and cigarettes. The girls around her melted. She tried to pull out and talk to him seriously, but he wouldn't let her. "My Rosie." He kissed her lips. He was drunk. He was irrational. He was selfish. He wasn't listening to her. So she pushed him back down and stormed away.

And five songs later, the screaming started.

* * *

><p>Beautifully lightheaded, Lily found herself lost in the music and the scene and the people and the smoke and she danced until her feet were sore and she had to stumble off and take off her heels and put down her firewhiskey because she'd spilt it everywhere. And she didn't know who was around her but what did it matter? And every voice around her meshed into one and someone handed her something, some dust, and emptied it into her hand, and she wasn't sure who or what it was but she threw her head back and tipped it into her mouth and let it make her fly, higher than everybody, higher than the clouds…<p>

But someone was flying with her, someone was talking to her, asking her something, "where's Rose?"

Rose?

Why was Rose flying with her?

I don't know, she tried to say, I don't know, let me fly.

And she kept her eyes closed so she could float in peace but someone kept talking to her, asking about Rose, and so she opened her eyes and the dull noise the music had become suddenly became a very loud noise, and there was someone in front of her, leaning into her, talking to her.

"Where's Rose?"

"I don't know."

And that was all she remembered saying but she was sure there was more – flirting, laughing, talking - because next thing was lips on lips and skin and hands through hair and wild music and the taste of secondhand firewhiskey and she didn't know anything, she didn't know what was happening, but she kept her eyes closed and her let her body dissolve into theirs and let the world fall away…

But it wasn't falling away. Suddenly it was very, very close, very real. Suddenly she wasn't in darkness and kissing random strangers with loud music thumping in her brain. Suddenly she was crouched by a tree watching a woman scream and someone burn, burn to death, and her own screams matched the woman's, and everybody was crying and there was an eerie glow and a foul smell, and she was screaming, screaming for help, screaming to get away, screaming for release…

And then someone was taking her hand and leading her away and assuring her it was alright, asking her to stop screaming, and she followed them, and stopped screaming, and all around, people gasped and muttered.

"Lily? What happened?"

She recognised that voice, and felt someone put her arm around her waist and lead her away, until the music faded and it was only darkness and she opened her eyes, and she was back in the tunnel and through the painting and into the common room and up to her dorm, and the softness of the bed beneath her fingers, she closed her eyes…

"What happened?"

"I don't know. She just freaked."

She opened them again. Standing in front of her, looking worried, was Rose. Josie came in through the doorway to the bathroom with a wet towel in her hand. Rose sat beside Lily and stroked her hair and Josie cleaned the mascara trails off her cheeks. Lily didn't even know she'd been crying, but was not surprised. As someone pulled off her dress and her shoes and tucked her into bed, she let her eyes close, let herself come back to earth, because she couldn't fly, not anymore, because reality didn't want to let her go.

* * *

><p><em>"Charlie."<em>

_"Ginny."_

_"I can't stay."_

_"I never expected you to."_

_"I'm sorry."_

_"At least you hung around to say goodbye."_

_"You've been the best big brother in the world. But there are some things I need to do on my own."_

_"You need to get help, Ginny."_

_Silence._

_"I just need to get out of here, Charlie."_

_"That's the last thing you need. But I know you well enough by now not to stop you."_

_"Thank you, Charlie. I'll write."_

_"Bullshit." A forced laugh._

_A kiss on the cheek. "I'm sorry, Charlie."_

_"You're always sorry."_

* * *

><p>"Morning, sunshine," Josie said as Lily joined her in the Great Hall for breakfast.<p>

"Morning," she mumbled, grabbing a piece of toast.

"You had a wild night, didn't you?" Briony said with a small giggle. Lily shook her head.

"Did you guys have fun?"

"Yeah, I got through like, half the school," Briony laughed.

"Ha! That's bull. I only saw you with Rogerson."

"No way," Lily said, joining in on the laughter as she ate.

"Yeah, way!"

Lily was about to divulge more information when someone called her name across the hall. She spun around in her seat to see Lorcan and Lysander hailing her from the Ravenclaw table. With a quick apology she jumped up and headed over. "Yeah?" she asked as they scooted over to admit her. Nicholas smiled from above his plate.

"We heard you had fun last night," Lysander winked. Lily blushed.

"Uh, well, you know me…"

"Making the impossible, possible," Lorcan said. Lily frowned, wondering what they were talking about, and then realised who she was talking to. It didn't have to make sense.

"Well, uh, yeah, I guess…" She picked the end of a piece of bacon off Lysander's plate.

"Don't you even care what Rose thinks, though? Like, I always thought she'd be pissed."

"That she had to leave the party early, you mean?"

"No, I mean…" He hesitated. "You don't remember?"

"Don't remember what?"

Had Lily not freaked out yesterday? That was the only thing in her memory. That she'd been with someone, and then freaked out, and led away, and everybody was watching, and Rose and Josie were there… had that not happened?

She saw Nicholas shake his head at Lorcan, who seemed oblivious to the gesture. Lily was not. "Remember _what?"_

"You freaked out yesterday, that's what," Nicholas said quickly and quietly.

A sudden commotion by the Slytherin table halted the conversation. Someone was sobbing. As Lily looked up, she saw it was Rose. Scorpius was standing by her, looking like he'd been slapped. She looked around wildly, wiped her eyes, and they fell on Lily.

Lily had never seen that look on her cousin's face before. She stood up, just as Rose sprinted out of the hall, her face covered and her hair flying out behind her, and Scorpius calling after her, running a few feet away. Lily jumped up and followed without consciously aware that she was doing it. The boys followed her, until she stopped in the entrance hall.

Rose and Scorpius had stopped too, and were now staring at each other like soldiers before a battle.

"I HATE YOU!" Rose screamed at Scorpius.

"Rose, you have to understand, I was –"

Her eyes fell on Lily. "And you! I HATE YOU!"

"What did I…?"

"You're my baby cousin," Rose sobbed. The look from before was gone, replaced with one of total betrayal. "My baby cousin! How could you do this to me?"

"Rose, what did I -?" She was very close to tears. Rose had never screamed at her like that. It was like a physical pain.

"HOW COULD YOU?"

"Rose!"

"Leave it, Lily," Scorpius said quietly. Rose turned on him.

"Oh, yes, take her side," she sneered through tears. Her voice was hoarse. "Take your little whore and live happily ever fucking after!"

"_'Whore'? _Scorpius, what-"

She took a step towards Rose and Scorpius, but Rose stepped back. "Stay the fuck away from me!" A tear slipped down Lily's cheek, and she felt pathetic for letting herself cry.

Lily spun around, looking for answers, but the boys behind her were watching the scene with awe. She felt more tears prickle her eyes. A group of girls passed on their way out of breakfast, but didn't linger, though it looked like they wanted to.

"We're fucking through," Rose said, and she spoke through gritted teeth, as though she was trying with all her might to sound calm. "Stay the fuck away from me. I never want to see you again."

With that, she spun and stormed up the stairs. They could hear her sob as she ran. Scorpius was paler than usual, and stood stock still. As more tears slipped through her eyes, Lily put a hand over her mouth so she wouldn't sob. Scorpius ran up the stairs after Rose. Lily spun around, staring helplessly at the boys behind her. They looked at her with pity.

"What happened?" she asked quietly, and her voice was hoarse with tears. More people passed with curious looks.

"Don't you remember?" Nicholas asked as he stepped forward to touch her hand. Lily shook her head. "Don't you remember who you were with last night?"

And as her mind played back the night before, she realised exactly who she was with last night.

Scorpius Malfoy.

* * *

><p><strong>Dun Dun DUN<strong>

**Sorry this is such a late chapter. If you care, which you probably don't. I was away with no internet for 10 days! And you wanna know something? In that time I finished THREE WHOLE CHAPTERS! Holy kakadoo.**

**Reviews are lovely and always appreciated :)**


	6. Never Grow Up

_**"**And no-one's ever burned you_

_Nothing's ever left you scarred_

_And even though you want to_

_Please try to never grow up."_

- Never Grow Up by Taylor Swift

* * *

><p>"Rose."<p>

"Stay the fuck away from me."

"Rose, come on, open up."

Lily slumped against the cubicle door, her head tilted to stare at the tiles on the ceiling. She could hear the noise from breakfast in the Great Hall and closed her eyes.

"Rose, please."

There was no movement from inside the cubicle.

"She looks terrible." Moaning Myrtle had risen from above the cubicle door to float by Lily. "You must have done something truly awful." Lily shook her head and knocked on the door again, but her only reply was more sobbing.

"Rose, I was tripping. I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't even remember doing it." More sobbing and sniffling. Lily knocked again. "Please."

But twenty minutes later, when most of the school was shuffling out to enjoy their weekend in the sun, Rose was still not out. Lily slid down the door until she was sitting on the ground, her knees tucked into her chest.

"At least come out to eat something," she suggested.

"Go away."

"No. Talk to me."

"I don't want to fucking talk to you, can't you see that? I want to kill you. I hate you. I want you to fuck off. I'm so sick of you. I'm sick of you getting everything. I'm sick of you being so fucking perfect. You had everything. I had Scorpius. He was mine, not yours, the one thing I had. And you fucking took him. Because you could."

It was the most Rose had said all day, and Lily found herself speechless. Rose finished with a cry. With nothing to say, Lily silently pulled herself to her feet and walked away.

* * *

><p>Oliver Wood had only one motto: Quidditch or die.<p>

It had been drilled into every one of his children's heads. Which was why Nicholas was pinning up the notice for Quidditch trials next weekend already.

"That's so soon!" Norman Boot complained as he read the notice over Nicholas' shoulder.

"You'll survive. It's a big team this year, so we have to train early if we want to give up the pitch by eleven. The Gryffindors have it booked."

"Everybody's trialing on Saturday, then?" A fourth year asked.

"Yep."

He was about to turn around when Alexis was right in front of him. "Does it help at all if you know the captain?" she asked flirtily as she reached up to kiss him.

"I'm not biased," he said. "Sorry."

"Damn. I guess I'll have to get in the old fashion way."

"Guess you will."

With no further interest in the conversation, Alexis headed off, and Nicholas headed out into the courtyard to find the twins.

They were talking with Norman Boot when he found them, and by the looks of Lysander's arm movements, discussing the skill involved for Chasers. He tapped them and they quickly ended the conversation.

"I can't afford to be biased," he said to them, "but I can't afford to have Alexis on the team. I think I'll end up killing myself. Or her."

"She's not that bad," Lorcan said. "I'll take her, if you don't want her."

"I'd love you to take her. Thing is, I don't think she'll be that happy with that plan."

"Mm. There's your dilemma."

"I could confund her," suggested Lysander.

"That's cheating."

"Doesn't count if they're Alexis."

The three of them laughed.

"I'm going down to the pitch," Nicholas said suddenly. "To scope out the scene, you know." Nicholas had no desire to scope out the scene. What he wanted was to be alone, and that seemed like the best place to achieve this. He left the boys thinking up plans to smuggle some Weasley's Wizard Wheezes into Alexis' pumpkin juice.

The pitch, in contrast, was calm and quiet. Some giggling first years past by Nicholas quite loudly, but he took no notice as he strode onto the pitch and stared around the stands. He thought of how, for the first time in years, Ravenclaw had one the Quidditch cup two years ago. Nobody believed anybody but Gryffindor had a chance, since they had Albus Potter who really had inherited his father's famous talent. Nicholas had blocked sixteen well thrown goals in the finals, and they had one by a margin of over a hundred.

And then he imagined a different scene, one where he was dismounting his broom to the cries of thousands, and everybody was grabbing him, and he was hugging teammates and the screams were deafening because he'd won the world cup.

"And the crowd goes wild!" Nicholas cried aloud as he stared into the imaginary crowd, lifting his arms as if to encompass them. He stared around as the silence followed his exclamation.

At least, he assumed it would be silence. But someone was laughing. Really laughing, not in his imagination. He spun around to see who had interrupted his moment of solitude and hoped it wasn't Alexis. But it wasn't – it was Lily Potter.

"Hi," he said sheepishly, shoving his hands into his pockets. She was leaning against the side of the stands, her hair in a loose ponytail. Wisps fell around her face and as she smiled, her freckles crinkled on her nose.

"Hi," she said quietly. She pulled herself off the stands and started to walk towards him. "They said you'd be here."

"They?"

"Ly-'n'-Lo," she said. He frowned and she sat down in front of him. He followed her lead. "Lysander and Lorcan. When we were little, we couldn't pronounce Lysander and Lorcan, so we called them Ly and Lo, and then when we talked about the Scamanders, they were 'Ly-'n'-Lo.'" She lay down on her back and stared up at the sky.

"Makes sense," he said, lying back too, until they were next to each other. "You were looking for me?" But she said nothing. With her eyes closed, and her breathing slow, he could have sworn she was asleep. There was a pregnant pause, and he was scared to break it. "Is everything OK?"

She said nothing for a few more moments. He hesitated. "Nicholas," she said. "That's a nice name. Nicholas. Never Nick?"

"No. My brother's Alex, my sister's Cee, but I'm just Nicholas. Nick sounds wrong for me."

"You never took me for a Nick," she said. As she spoke, her voice sounded rather strained, like she was holding back tears. Nicholas hoped she would say more, but she didn't. So he repeated his earlier question. Not suprisingly, she didn't answer. "You don't talk much," he finally said.

And she didn't say anything.

For a very long time. And then –

"It was nice talking to you, Nicholas." Lily was on her feet, smiling down at him. He jumped to his feet too and shoved his hands in his pockets.

"Yeah," he said. "You too."

She looked ready to leave, but before she turned, she reached up and placed the gentlest kiss on his cheek. "I'm glad I met you, Nicholas."

Stunned, the boy said nothing. And then he watched Lily walk away and out of sight and wondered what the fuck just happened.

* * *

><p>Ginny quietly opened the door to her room and looked down the hallway. It was clear. With her bag in her hand, she slipped out into the hall stealthily and crept on tiptoes to the stairs. The note, like every other time, lay folded on her bed. A thank you, an apology, and this time, some money. There was a nagging feeling in her stomach, but she pushed it down as she stepped onto the first stair.<p>

It creaked loudly. She stopped.

Next stair. Another creak. A pause.

Third stair. Another creak. And –

"You're going?"

Hannah.

Ginny spun around like a deer caught in headlights to face the other woman at the top of the stairs. She had her hands on her hips and looked somewhere between disappointed and livid.

"Hannah, h-hi, I…"

"You're going." A statement this time, not a question.

"Yes," Ginny said sheepishly.

"I should have expected it." She slumped over the railing. "Where do you plan on going? I was growing far too used to your presence."

"I don't know yet," Ginny lied. For a moment, she thought Hannah knew she was lying, but the look disappeared as soon as it came. She sighed.

"Oh." She hesitated. Nobody spoke. "Well, take care."

"Thanks, Hannah."

"I'll check you out. You've paid?" Ginny nodded. There was a silence. And then suddenly Hannah pulled Ginny into a tight embrace. "Take good care, dear," she whispered into the younger woman's ear.

"I will. Thank you for everything, Hannah. I'm sorry." When she pulled away, Hannah had tears in her eyes. "Tell Neville the same."

"I'll miss you, Ginny." She led Ginny downstairs and out the back, tapping on the bricks that gained her entry into Diagon Alley. "Stay safe." With another heartfelt hug, Ginny faced the dark street and the wall behind her closed up with a finalising thud.

So she started to walk.

When you hit a certain age, rebellion becomes less of a statement of maturity and more of the opposite. This could have been why she did it. Or maybe it was boredom. A thirst to prove herself. She didn't know why. She just did what she did with no explanation. She was not being watched by Hannah, not being mothered or cared for by anobody. She was fine. So she glanced around her and then made her decision. She went down the dark alley.

Knockturn Alley was a dodgy place during the day. At night, it was a suicide mission. All the time, it was a hellhole. But the thoughts and fears that she suppressed did not bother her as she stepped through the dodgy cobblestone street. She could hear raucous laughter from a shop up ahead and made her way towards it, hoping that it would not lead her to her death.

She heard stumbling beind her, and gripped her wand tighter. She kept walking, regretting her decision more with every step. More steps, more stumbling, and then –

"Hello, beautiful," someone cooed drunkenly from behind her. She stifferend and spun around.

He was drunk, but not alone. Beside him, looking almost manic, was another man, with black hair and crazy eyes illuminated in the streetlamp. The first man looked more or less the same, with tame blonde hair.

"Whatchu doing in this part of town?" he asked, taking a step towards her. She didn't back down. "Doesn't seem like your... scene."

"It isn't," she said stiffly. "So if I could just get past –"

"Hear that, Joe? She wants to get past," he sneered, displaying a full set of yellow teeth. Joe laughed appropriately, sending a wave of nausea and fear over Ginny. Joe laughed.

"So," the first man said with another step. He was close enough now for Ginny to smell his drunken breath. She held hers. And then –

She bolted. Sprinting in the opposite direction, she dodged a curse by her left ear. Another one.

"You can't run forever, sweetie!" She could hear them behind her, panting to follow her. She didn't know where she was going or what she was doing. She sent a hex back at them, and heard a groan to tell her she'd hit her mark.

_"Expelliarmus!" _

Her wand shot out of her hand. She dived to retrieve it, but it rolled back to where the men had stopped and out of her reach. Lying on the ground, they towered right over her, and she had nowhere to run.

"There we go," the man hissed, picking up her wand. The other man was well back, hacing got a full face of her hex. "Now you're all mine, aren't you?"

"No," she groaned.

"Yes," he said.

She lay exhausted on the ground, chest heaving, staring back into those eyes with defiance. The man knelt down so their noses were inches apart. Then he raised his hand and slapped her across the face. She gasped as his rings dug into her flesh and remembered being 16 again and getting the same treatment from the Carrows for believing in Harry… Harry…

As though the name had empowered her, she lifted her feet and kicked them hard in the man's face. He cried out and fell back in pain. She jumped to her feet and grabbed her wand from him. With one destination in mind, she Disapparated.

* * *

><p>Having History of Magic meant one thing: a nice nap. That was the attitude for most of the class, at least. Hugo was flinging his quill across the room and summoning it back to one side of Lily while Briony passed notes with Josie. Most of the kids found History of Magic a useful time to test out the latest Wheezes they bought over their holidays. Over the course of the lesson, as Lily tried to focus as hard as she could on Professor Binns, she found herself receiving several paper cranes in her hair.<p>

The boys behind her were messing about. Yorkin, a Gryffindor and Leon's friend, was throwing shredded paper at Leon, who flicked his wand and turned them into small - yet noisy - paper cranes. She ignored them, and tried to concentrate on what the teacher was saying – no doubt it would be in her OWLs. She heard the boys behind her guffaw and something prickled the top of her head. She reached up, frowning, and pulled down a paper crane. It cried under her grip. She rolled her eyes and turned around to place the crane carefully on the edge of Leon's desk. "Very funny," she said. He laughed.

"Did you read it?" he asked, pushing it back into her hands. She pressed her lips together and unfolds the crane. "Dear Lily, you're pretty," she read aloud. She smiled and folded it back up. He looked so hopeful, it almost made her laugh.

"It's very cute," she said. She pushed it slightly further onto the desk so that he couldn't give it back to her.

"Thanks," he blushed. He looked eager to say something more, but she turned to face the front again.

"Someone's popular," Hugo muttered to her as he retrieved his quill.

"Hush up," she mumbled as a flush crept up her neck.

Potions passed in much the same way, except everybody made an effort to listen. It started with an introduction to OWL potions and how important OWLs are so remember to listen and blah blah blah…

* * *

><p>"Ten points if you get it past his head," Lysander whispered to Nicholas, his quill poised to be thrown.<p>

"Nah, look, he's moving," he whispered back. "20 at least."

"Bullshit," Lorcan hissed. "15."

Both other boys sighed and Nicholas quickly wrote it down. They were sitting in Transfiguration with Professor Enson, who was going on again about their coarsework for the year. It was clear that nobody cared, and was really only doing it to fill in subjects. Lysander raised his quill and flicked it, and Nicholas used this opportunity to whisper to Lorcan.

"Do you think Lily's alright?" he asked quietly. Lorcan frowned and looked at him.

"Lily Potter?"

"Yeah."

"Why do you care?"

"I don't," he said quickly. "I'm just worried. She seems a little off."

"That's just Lily. She's always off. You just go with it."

"So you're not worried?"

"Why should I be?"

"20 points!" Lysander whispered suddenly. They both turned to look at him and smiled.

"Well done," Nicholas said, picking up his quill. "My turn."

As they headed to Defence Against the Dark Arts, someone grabbed Nicholas's hand and slipped theirs into it. He jumped and turned to see Alexis, smiling cheekily.

"Hi, baby," she grinned and pressed her lips to his. Lorcan and Lysander went crazy.

"Frat!" they screamed and pointed in the busy corridor. "Frat! Sir, that's fraternising!" Alexis reached over and slapped his arm.

"I'll let it slide this one time," said a voice from behind them. The four of them spun around to see the new teacher, Professor Lupin, smiling down at them. Alexis let go of Nicholas's hand and shuffled into the classroom, head bowed. The three boys did the same, supressing grins and leisurely seating themselves at the back.

* * *

><p>"This is getting ridiculous," mumbled Al as he sat between Rose and Scorpius, both of whom were staring pointedly in opposite directions. As the Potions teacher talked about NEWTs, Al scribbled notes down and tried not to freeze to death between them.<p>

"Rose, don't you want to get some of this down?"

She ignored him. He sighed. "Scorpius?"

"I'll grab yours later," he said.

"Oh, no you won't," Rose snapped suddenly. "Don't let him, Al."

"Rose, calm down," Al said calmly.

"Don't tell me to calm down," she fumed loudly. He put a finger to his lips, which she ignored. Luckily, Professor Evercreech didn't notice the squabble at the back.

"She wouldn't if you begged, Al," Scorp said coldly. "It's in her blood."

At this, Rose did turn to look at him with a scowl. "You want to talk about blood? Why don't we spill some of yours and compare – "

Al grabbed her before she tried to launch herself across the table, which she seemed close to doing. She struggled as he held her hands on her lap.

"Rose, seriously," he said. "We're in a classroom."

She said nothing for a moment. Al went back to listening, while keeping a close eye on his friends. Scorpius seemed to have forgotten what had just happened and was doodling on some parchment. Rose was still staring at the sky with crossed arms.

"You know," she said suddenly, when Albus had nearly forgotten about what had happened. "This is as much your fault as it is his."

He dropped his quill, preparing for a long fight. "How?"

"If your little whore of a sister could keep her legs together – "

"Hey!" he hissed, frowning at her. "She's your cousin."

"Not anymore," she whispered back.

"What, you're suddenly no longer acknowledging her existence? Cutting her from the family tree?"

"Well, it's not like she doesn't deserve it." Al had no retort for that. They sat in complete, cold silence for the rest of the lesson.

* * *

><p>Teddy was in the classroom when they arrived after lunch. Lily bounded right up to where he stood with his back to the classroom and stepped up on tiptoes. She threw her hands over his eyes.<p>

"Guess who?" she cried excitedly. She saw Leon walk into the classroom looking slightly annoyed, and grinned wider.

"Hugo," he said. Hugo, who had taken his seat beside where Lily had put her books, looked offended.

"HEY!" he shouted in annoyance. Teddy grabbed the hands and pulled them off, spinning around to look at Lily.

"Argh, how could I not have guessed?" he said. "Go sit down." She did as she was told, biting her lip to pull off her grin. He clapped his hands together and the class fell silent.

"So," Teddy started, "I'm Professor Lupin. You can't" (he looked pointedly at Lily for this) "call me Teddy, Ted, TeddyBear or anything but Professor Lupin. All good? Alright." He spun around to face the board and picked up a piece of chalk. "Who knows what's on this year?"

"OWLs, sir," said a girl at the back.

"Right you are," Professor Lupin agreed, and he wrote it on the blackboard. "I think you'll find in all your classes, you'll be marked as though it was an OWL assessment. This class is no different. I expect Excellent from all of you." But as he spoke, he winked. "We have a guest speaker coming in a few times this year, I think you've all had him before, have you not? Harry Potter?"

Lily and Hugo groaned loudly and Lily dropped her head onto the desk. Teddy laughed. "Right, well, he'll be teaching you some new things, it'll be great – "

"Are you a metamorphagus?" someone asked from the back of the class. Teddy frowned and then relaxed.

"Yeah, I am, but – "

"Oh, show us, show us!" Half the class giggled and cried out this statement. Teddy looked torn.

"Just a little bit, won't you?" Arabella White asked.

"I… I suppose…"

"Do it, please!" Aimee Cold, a Gryffindor, begged. Teddy sighed, then screwed up his face. When he opened his eyes, they were a light violet. The girls oohed, while Lily rolled her eyes. After several more demonstrations, Teddy silenced them and started talking about defensive spells.

As Teddy talked, Lily listened. She tried to, but it went straight through her head. Because the only thing she could think was _should I tell Teddy? _

He would make it better. Would he? He could tell her what to do. He would tell her how to stop the freakouts and flashbacks and the nightmares. She had the nightmares under control though – a simple silencing charm on herself before she went to bed sorted everything out. But she couldn't stop the flashbacks, and every second she was on the edge, wondering if it was coming. But she just wanted to tell him so it would seem lighter. The burden of what she saw was starting to weigh down on her, a secret she couldn't keep any more.

But to divulge such a secret seemed even worse, like she was giving away part of her soul. She was scared. Scared of what, she didn't know. But somehow in her mind, she had started to believe that these flashbacks were making her weak, that if she told people, she would be at her weakest, most vulnerable. It kept her strong as long as she never showed that it bothered her. When her guard slipped, though, it was scary.

But when the bell rang, it was not her who hung back; it was Hugo. "You right?" she asked when he deliberated in packing up his things.

"Yeah, fine, go ahead. Tell Professor Longbottom I'll be late, won't you?"

Her eyes flickered to Teddy, who was sorting out his own books at the front of the class. She nodded and headed out.

Hugo wrung his fingers and let out a sigh of relief when she was gone. He took one last look around the classroom, saw it was empty, and slung his backpack onto his shoulder.

"Oi, Teddy," he said, standing next to the older boy. Teddy straightened and poked Hugo hard in the stomach.

"Can't talk to your teacher like that!" he said.

"What are you going to do about it?" Hugo said.

"Put you in detention, maybe?"

"You wouldn't. Listen, Teddy, can we talk?"

Teddy looked around and shrugged. He pulled himself up so he was sitting on his desk. "Sure buddy. What's up?"

Hugo shuffled his feet awkwardly. Teddy crossed his arms, a worried expression on his face, and waited.

"I have something that… I don't know how to deal with."

"Which is?"

Hugo hesitated again, and Teddy waited.

"I think I might need to tell people something," he said, avoiding Teddy's eyes and barely opening his mouth. "About me."

"Which is?" Teddy repeated.

Neither boy said nothing for a few moments. Then Hugo took a deep breath. "I'm gay."

Neither of them said anything for a very, very long time. Hugo was sure he was going to be very late for his next class, but he didn't care. He didn't look at Teddy. He stared at the ground. His mind raced. And then –

"Well, fuck."

Hugo started. He lifted his eyes to look at Teddy for the first time. Teddy's were still violet.

"Does anybody know?" Teddy asked.

"Just Lily. But… I think people suspect."

"Right." Hugo did not say anything. Teddy did. "I'm glad you told me, Hugo." The younger boy nodded. With nothing left to say, Teddy held up his hand and Hugo high-fived it, the way they did when Hugo was a kid. "See you, Kiddo."

"See you." He headed to Herbology feeling more dejected than before.

* * *

><p>Lily used to think of her mother every waking moment. Especially when she first left. Slowly, always became usually, then usually became sometimes, and sometimes became 'not if she can help it.'<p>

But as soon as she walked into that Herbology classroom, 'not if she can help it' became 'always.' And she hated that. It was why she hated Herbology. With the usual introduction about OWLs, Professor Longbottom gave them all some rare plant to study that tried to eat your hand. Hugo came in fifteen minutes late and handed Professor Longbottom a note before slipping next to Lily.

"Well?" she whispered as she avoided a bite.

"I told Teddy," Hugo said hurriedly.

"Told Teddy what?" Hugo raised his eyebrows at her and her jaw dropped. "You did?"

"Yeah. He was totally fine with it."

"Wow."

Hugo nodded. Lily had nothing else to say. Halfway through the lesson Josie got a bite from the weird plant in a totally-un-Josie-like way and Lily had to take her to the hospital wing, so she didn't have a chance to talk to Hugo again.

The bell rang as she was making her way back down to the Greenhouses to collect her things. She dragged herself back as people spilled out from classrooms to go back to their common rooms before dinner. Hugo was nowhere in sight in the Greenhouse as Lily picked up her bag. Rogerson Nott was the last out. He gave her a glare as she pulled her bag onto her back. She glared back until he was out of sight.

"Alright, Lily?" asked Professor Longbottom. Lily's attention snapped to him, where he was collecting in the plants for Herbology.

"Oh," she said. "Yes, sir."

"How - how are you?" he asked. His smile went from warm to sympathetic. She looked down, feeling scrutinized.

"Well, thank you," she replied, not sure whether or not she's lying, "and yourself?"

"I'm good! Actually, I just got a letter from your father."

"Oh," she said, pressing her lips together. She should have expected it. "How is he?"

"He's good, good. Sad, though. I know, even though he won't say it. He didn't expect it."

Lily frowned subconsciously at how suddenly her mother had flowed into the conversation. She dared to lift her eyes from the ground to see Professor Longbottom looking at her without a hint of a smile, but worry in his eyes. She pulled her arms tighter around herself and swung on her heels. She shrugged. "Nobody did." Now or never. "Does... have you..." She couldn't find the words. They held in her throat. He looked at her curiously, as curiously as all the teachers did. She felt the familiar lump rise in her throat, as if the sunset had set it off. She felt like one of Parvlov's dogs.

"Yes," Professor Longbottom said, without her having to finish the question. "She's written to me, once or twice." Lily inhaled sharply.

"Oh," she said simply. She stared at her feet. Silence filled the space between them, but the look he gave her said enough. "At least she's alive," Lily joked humourlessly. He said nothing for a while.

"She's fine," he said, answering a question she didn't dare to ask. "Safe. She's..." He didn't seem to know how to finish that sentence. He grimaced, clearly torn. She nodded, like that's all he needed to say.

"Did she say why she left?" Lily forced out. She holded her breath, staring past Neville's shoulder at the greenhouse, not quite ready to meet his eyes. The look she got reminded her why. He looked at her like he misjudged her, like she's a child, like what she heard needed to be censored, like she doesn't understand anything. She felt like there's a hole being dug in the bottom of her stomach. She looked away from him. She shouldn't have said anything; she shouldn't have come here at all.

"Lily," he started, pity dripping from his voice, "there are things she witnessed, things she saw, that people aren't meant to see. She's been through things you can't rebuild from and had to do things... Sometimes it's hard to live life normally. To rebuild, act like nothing is wrong, you know? Especially after a war like that. And then things got too hard, with her marriage, she couldn't be strong anymore. It got too much for her. There's a lot more than that, a lot you don't know. You might never know. But she wants to come back. When she's ready."

Lily nodded, like she understood, but she didn't. She didn't understand anything. Her father saw worse things. Professor Longbottom saw worse things. Everybody in that war saw terrible things, how come they hadn't gotten up and left? What made her mother so damn special?

"So I guess you'll be packing your bags soon too, huh?" she asked after a moment, ice dripping from her voice. The words tasted as bad as she felt.

"Lily, that's not-"

"Fair?" she asked. She looked up at him with cold, dark eyes. Her mother's eyes. "Right. Sorry. Because life is so fair, I should be too, right?" Her voice was lined with sarcasm.

He didn't say anything. He didn't try to defend himself, or her. He was old enough to know better. She didn't wait to hear what he had to say. She turned around and headed back up to the grounds, arms wrapped around herself, holding herself together as everything she said and heard came back to bite her. The tears were brimming, and blinking was doing nothing. She walked faster, begging to reach her dorm before the storm hit.

"Where were you?" asked Hugo as Lily finally emerged from her dorm and headed to dinner. She put some food on her plate.

"I had to go talk to Professor Longbottom," she said briefly.

"About what?"

"Why is it so important?" she snapped.

"Hey, hey, sorry," he said with an awkward laugh, holding up his hands in surrender. "Is that all your having?" he asked, pointing at her plate in an effort to change the subject. She raised her eyebrows but said nothing. He sat and glumly chewed his own chicken as Lily turned around to talk to some friends at another table. When she turned back to her plate, she nudged Hugo.

"Lysander and Lorcan want us to go eat with them," she said.

"Well, by all means, go ahead."

"You don't want to come?"

But there was a sadness in her voice that he couldn't ignore. He sighed, took one last bite, and pulled himself up from the table, following Lily to the Ravenclaw table. He sat in front of Lorcan, Lysander and their friend, who he'd never been introduced to and smiled as Lily made introductions.

"Hugo, Nicholas," she said with a small smile. As she engaged in some kind of discussion about some animal that probably didn't exist with the twins, Hugo turned to look up at the staff table. His eyes flitted over to Teddy, who was involved in a hearty discussion with Professor Hagrid. As he listened, his eyes scanned the tables of students eating and talking, and finally they landed on Hugo. Hugo beamed at him, and Teddy winked back.

* * *

><p>Rose stared at the food Al had piled onto her plate and felt her stomach contort in disgust. She stared so intensely it was as if it had done her a personal wrong.<p>

"You have to eat," Al said through a mouthful of potato.

"No I don't," she retorted sharply.

"What are you going to do, go on a hunger strike because your boyfriend broke up with you?" he asked incredulously. Rose hardly listened. Her eyes were on Lily, sitting there at the Ravenclaw table, being fawned upon. She watched the younger girl spear a small piece of potato and put it in her mouth. She even ate pretty. Rose stared at her in disgust. Al's eyes followed until they reached what she was saw.

"Oh," he said. "You're not eating because my sister eats." Rose made no comment, but didn't waver her eyes. "Well, if that's the case – hey Rose, my sister loves to talk. Maybe you should go on a talking strike too." She made no movement to acknowledge his joke, but he laughed at himself. He quickly solemned up though. He stared at her with those green eyes and looked almost pitiful. But when he spoke, he didn't sound it. "Grow up, Rose," he said, and with a final bite of his chicken, he was up and gone.

* * *

><p>"You're up in a rush," Nicholas noted at Lily jumped up from the table.<p>

"Oh, yeah, well, I said I'd go collect my friend from the hospital wing," she said. Nicholas nodded. She wondered if he was going to ask to accompany her again. She wouldn't half mind it this time, but it seemed his last experience had taught him a lesson. He gave her a small wave as she walked away.

She didn't notice someone else get up. She didn't see them keep close behind her as she started up towards the hopsital wing. She should have, though. The corridors were practically deserted, since everybody was at dinner or their dorms. But she didn't until she was heading through a corridor towards the hospital wing and someone called out to her.

So she turned around, and regretted it instantly.

Rose was standing ten feet away, looking both livid and hopeless. She was a mess, with tired eyes and frazzled red curls. At the sight of her, Lily only felt exhausted. She'd had enough tonight.

"What do you want, Rose?" she asked impatiently.

"Oh," said Rose, feigning innocence and surprise. "Oh, nothing. I'm only wondering if you're off to go give _my _boyfriend one. Oh, sorry, another one!" she cried.

"It was a kiss, Rose, and I said I was sorry," she said.

"Right, _sorry._ Nice word, isn't it?"

"Why are you acting like this?"

"Like what?"

"Like a psycho."

"That's what love does to you, Lily," Rose said quietly, with a wide, sad smile. She closed the space between them with small steps until her face was up against Lily. Then she whispered,"It makes you psycho."

Lily exhaled in annoyance. All day, she'd been getting the silent treatment from Rose, and now all Rose wanted was a heart-to-heart?" "Well, can't you go be crazy somewhere else? I have somewhere to be." She started to turn around.

"My boyfriend's pants, for instance?" Rose cried, making Lily stop short and turn back to face her.

Lily just sighed and rubbed her eyes. "Rose, I'm sorry I kissed your boyfriend," she said in a tired tone. "I was drunk and I was tripping and I didn't know what I was doing, but you have to get over it, OK?"

Rose was silent for a minute. Lily almost turned around again. And then –

"Fuck you, Lily."

Lily said nothing. She just stood there. Rose turned away this time. When she was almost at the end of the corridor, Lily said quietly: "Grow up, Rose."

And in that indefinite amount of space between them that was growing by the minute, Lily could have sworn she saw Rose flinch.

* * *

><p>She was sitting on the steps to the entrance hall when Al found her. He sat beside her silently. She looked more of a mess than before, with mascara running down her cheeks. She was playing with her wand, making puffs of smoke form from it and fall to the ground.<p>

"Figured you'd be here," he said.

"I don't want to talk." Her voice was hoarse from crying.

"Then I'll talk. Listen, Rose, I know I'm the chairman of the _I Hate Lily _club, but don't you think that maybe you're taking this a little… too far?"

"No," she said curtly. He pressed his hands together, like he was squashing a bug.

"Right. But maybe you should loosen up on her a little. You both need some time to cool off."

"No."

"Come on, Rose, this isn't right, you're taking this way too –"

"Don't fucking say it."

He clamped his mouth shut. She shot up onto her feet and stowed her wand in her pocket. She looked down at Albus.

"I'm not the one in the wrong here, Al. She is. I need you on my side for this, Albie."

She hadn't called him Albie since they were five years old. He stood up and smiled sympathetically at her. He kissed her foreahead and wrapped his arms around her in a bear hug, like when they were kids. "I'm always on your side, Rosie-Posie."

* * *

><p>The house still looked the same. In eight years, they had not moved. As she landed solidly on her two feet, she stared at the house around her in awe. The hedges were overgrown, the flowers were starting to loose their newly bloomed look, and the grass definitely needed some cutting. The cottage still stood as tall as ever though, and as familiar as though she had been there all her life. There were no toys scattered on the ground now, though. No discarded toy broomsticks. She could just make out another cottage across the field – Ron and Hermione's.<p>

There was only one light on in the house. It came from the bottom right window. It was only ten o'clock, she hardly expected them to be asleep. Yet she felt exhausted herself, and was sure she was about to collapse any second now. Sleep seemed like the best thing in the world to her at that moment. She forced her legs to carry her to the window and peer inside.

It was still furnished the same. Half the photos on the wall were gone or replaced with ones that did not feature her. Nothing she didn't expect. Sitting on the couch in front of a blazing fire was Harry. Shr recognised him instantly – he had not changed one bit.

He was sitting up, leaning forward over the coffee table and going through several files, frowning in concentration. A goblet sat to his right, untouched. She could see blue circles under his eyes. As she watched, he took off his glasses, rubbed his eyes, and then set them back on his face. Something he'd done for years.

And then it all came crashing down on her. The realisation that she was not in his life. That it had moved on without her, even if she had not. That the love of her life would probably not recognise her. That she was not even in his thoughts right now. Because everything they had… she'd given up.

But she went to the front door anyway and she knocked anyway and she waited anyway. And he opened the door. And he was so close, she could see the bristles of his unshaven face. She could see the bags under his eyes. She could see the faded scar on his forehead. She could see the slightly greying hairs. And she could see his green eyes, the ones she dreamt of, the ones she loved, the ones that used to look at her with such love, flash with realisation. And that was the last thing she could see, because as his name formed on her lips like a secret she could never speak, her legs gave way and her mind drowned her in darkness.


	7. End Over End

**AN IMPORTANT EXPLANATION: This was not intended to be the last chapter of my story, but if you've read any of my other chapter stories you know I get bored. And I stop, wherever I am. Which is why I have stopped halfway through a scene. I couldn't even bring myself to finish it. So here it is. I couldn't even bother to find song lyrics. I suck right now. Thanks for reading.**

**The funny thing is I had a really great way of all the loose ends to tie up and everything to be explained and you'll never know MWAHAHAHA.**

**Chapter Seven**

The week passed scarily quickly. Before anybody knew it, it was Friday morning and the weekend was almost upon them. Talk of the upcoming Quidditch trials seemed to be everywhere, with people discussing what position they were trialling for, if they were trialling at all and who they thought had the best chances. Nicholas, of everybody, seemed to be the most stressed. It was all he could talk about at breakfast.

"I was thinking, if we could just get a chance to maybe… lessen Al Potter's chances of getting seeker it could really go for us…" He was sitting with a rather big group today at the Ravenclaw table – since Lily had started sitting with them, she had drawn somewhat of a crowd. She sat beside him, her hand being cradled by Sid Flint, who was discussing a similar topic with Rogerson Nott and Togas Davis on his right; across from him, Hugo sat awkwardly beside Josie.

Nicholas' rant about the trials was drowned out by a large number of owls swooping down on the students eating breakfast, dropping letters from home down. Lily stared down at her plate as letters fell on everybody around her. Hugo ripped his open eagerly, his eyes scanning the page. Josie smiled into hers, Lorcan and Lysander read one together. Even Sid got a letter, though he scowled as he read his. Nicholas was the only one who remained passive as he read his. When he looked up, he saw Lily watching him.

"You don't have one?" he asked. Lily and Rogerson Nott were the only ones without.

She shook her head. "The only person at home is Dad, and he hardly writes. Plus, he knows I wouldn't read it anyway." Behind her, at the Gryffindor table, Al was collecting his own letter from his father. Lysander peered over Nicholas' shoulder and read his.

"Ha-ha! Your sister's still in love with me, then?" he asked with a stupid grin. Nicholas folded the letter and stored it in his pocket.

"Yeah, I think she's planning a June wedding. Come on – we should get a headstart if we're going to make it to Herbology."

The three of them departed. With no desire to hang around, the fifth years pulled themselves up and headed to their classes. For Lily, luckily, that was Defence Against the Dark Arts. As she slipped out of the Great Hall, her fingers interlocked with Sid's, her eyes flickered to the Gryffindor table. Rose was too busy reading her letter to glare at Lily as she left, suddenly feeling very sick.

* * *

><p><em>Dear Hugo,<em>

_I hope you had a wonderful first week back. We've been missing Rose and you like crazy over here, it's certainly a change from the summer. Your father has been really busy over at the office, trying to split his time between work and the Wheezes, but he's doing really well. Things here are much the same, very relaxing. But I would love to hear how things are! Is Teddy settling in well? You've seen Hagrid, haven't you? Are you busy? Have you seen your friends? Tell me how everything is, and please tell me you're studying. OWL year is very important._

_George wants you to pop in next Hogsmeade weekend. Be sure to write him when it is, he'll need to stock up._

_I'll write to you later, and I do expect a reply this time, Hugo._

_Give Lily our love,_

_Mum._

Hugo scrunched up the letter and shoved it into his pocket. He made a mental note to write a response in Ancient Runes. As he did so, he looked over at Lily walking beside him. She was so short, he almost missed her.

"You're shaking," he noted.

"What? No I'm not." She pressed her hands together to hide the fact that she was indeed shaking, and she knew it. She'd had the worst nightmare of them all the night before and could not erase the images it had imprinted in her head. She'd woken up shaking and sweating and silently screaming, and sat still and upright for almost an hour before trying to get some more sleep, but she couldn't. Which was why she was exhausted and shaking.

The nightmare had again been about the woman on fire, but it had been very different this time. She wasn't watching the woman from afar like she had been that night. She was right beside the woman. She was the woman with the long back hair, screaming and crying and begging for the other. And at the close range, she could feel the scalding heat and she could see everything so close. She could see the woman melting like a wax figure. She could see the hair on her eyelashes and her eyebrows singing until there was nothing. And she was screaming for the woman and beating out the fire with her hands; but for some reason, it didn't hurt, it only felt like she was beating at cool water. And then the man from the trees who'd thrown the dark mark into the sky was coming at her, raging, shouting at her and pointing his wand, and she couldn't understand why he was there, what he wanted, because he was talking in a language she didn't understand, and then he was Rose and she was screaming "How could you? How could you?" and Lily had no idea why she was screaming and not helping the woman on fire in front of her, and when she turned back to the burning body the woman was not the woman from before but it was Rose, Rose who was burning beneath her fingers, Rose was writhing and screaming and bald and red and black and bloody and her skin was falling off her and it was blistered and raw…

"There is _definitely _something wrong with you," Hugo said as they sat down. "I made like, three jokes in the last two minutes and you didn't laugh once. And they were good."

"Oh," she said, sitting on her hands as they started to shake more violently with the memory. "Sorry, I was distracted."

"Clearly," he said sourly.

Keeping up with Hugo's moods was too hard for Lily, so she'd given up long ago. He was a minefield, and since it became apparent that she was always stepping on mines, she'd decided to just run through the field and hope she didn't hit too many.

"OK," Professor Lupin started, clapping his hands together. "The Disarming Spell. What can anybody tell me about it?"

As someone raised their hand with an answer, Lily struggled to listen and not lose herself in the memory of the nightmare. But throughout the lesson she found herself slipping into it far too often. Twice while Teddy was talking did she find herself completely unsure of where she was, with her mouth clamped shut, holding in a scream. That was when she knew what she had to do. So when the bell rang, she didn't move.

"You coming or what?" Hugo asked as he put his things into his bags with the rest of the class. She shook her head.

"I have a headache. Tell Professor Flitwick I'm at the hospital wing, will you?"

Hugo looked worried, but nodded. "Maybe you're sick. That would explain why you're shaking. And pale. Here –" He started to move his hand towards her forehead, but she flicked it away.

"I'm fine, it's just a headache. Go before you're late," she snapped, and he filed out with the rest of the class. Lily waited until almost everybody was gone. Rogerson Nott was lingering at the back of the classroom, deliberating as he put his things in his bag. Deciding he would leave quickly, Lily took a deep breath, and said, "Teddy?"

At the same time, however, Rogerson Nott said: "A word, Professor?"

Teddy laughed and looked between them. "Classes only just started, you can't be lost already," he joked.

Lily looked at Rogerson and blushed with embarassment. He smiled. "You go," he said. "I'll wait outside."

Teddy leaned against his desk and crossed his arms. He looked so teacher-like, Lily almost had second thoughts. He looked concerned. "You _are_ pale," he said quietly, almost to himself. "Shaking? Are you alright?"

Lily crossed the floor to him in three seconds and sat in the teacher's chair. He didn't tell her off as she pulled up her legs and tucked into herself. She didn't say anything for a little bit, just stared at her hands, which were indeed shaking. She took a deep breath.

"Teddy I need to tell you something," she said quickly. He turned around so he was facing her.

"Seems like it's a time for confessions," he mumbled. Lily pressed her lips together and nodded.

"Well, there's something I wanted to tell you." He waited. He didn't push her. He just grabbed a chair from a neary desk and pulled it in front of her. She stared at her fingers.

"When I was… out one night," she said, carefully weighing each word. "I was a little way from our house. And I saw something." And with careful thinking, she told Teddy everything. Every terrifying detail, right up to the part where the Aurors came. She even told him about the man who set the dark mark. She didn't mention her father coming, and just escaping him when she ran home. But when she was finished, she was crying. No surprise there. She didn't look up. She just looked at her still shaking fingers.

He said nothing for a very, very long time. She was scared to look up. Then he said, "And you still remember it? Vividly?"

She nodded, blinking back tears. "Remember at the Burrow, before school started? And we were eating and I remembered it then. And it made me sick." Her voice was hoarse. She didn't tell him about the nightmares, or the party.

"I saw you," he said quietly. "I just assumed it was nothing." She shook her head. "Lily, you have to tell Harry."

"No." This time her voice was firm. She looked up and met his eyes, her own flashing dangerously.

"Lily, this is – this is important information," he said. His eyes were a cool green today, as requested by a Gryffindor girl in her class. She found herself unable to meet them and looked away, studying the window to her right.

Telling Teddy had been a mistake. She could have dealt with it on her own. Now her dad would know – and ask awkward questions, and start watching her, acting like there was something wrong with her. She would be scrutinized. That was the last thing she wanted. On top of that, he would be mad she didn't tell him and hurt. And she'd have to talk to hundreds of people – healers and Aurors and the lot. She'd never hear the end of it. And that would not help her forget.

"I can't," she said sharply, standing up and grabbing her bag.

"Hey!" said Teddy, reaching out to grab her arm, but she pulled out of his grip and sprinted to the door. She rushed right past Nott, ignoring Teddy calling out behind her. She kept her head down and her hair curtaining her face, so nobody could see her eyes. She had nowhere to go, with no desire to go to the hospital wing. The corridors were empty.

She started to walk.

* * *

><p><em>Dear Nicholas,<em>

_Hi. How are you. I want to right this letter because I wanted to talk to you. Things here are good. Mum is still drinking lots but that's ok. Alex is helping me to get good at spelling because there is a test at school soon. Dad keeps saying that if I don't get better he will leave this house and never come back. Mum keeps saying that he should take his hose with him. I don't know why he needs a hose. Nothing else has changed though. Sometimes Alex is really mean to me and I'm still not aloud outside in the daytime unless I am going to school because Mum says the naybors are crazy. They seem nice to me. I think I'm the one that's crazy._

_I miss you and I want you to come home. Tell Lysander I said hi._

_Love Cecelia._

Lunchtime came much too slowly for Nicholas. He found himself checking his watch four times in one lesson. It was lucky that the periods before and after lunch were free, when he could get a chance to reply to Cecelia. Lorcan peered over his shoulder as he read the letter on his way to the common room as he ate brownies sent by his own mother. Nicholas helped himself to one, disregarding the fact that it tasted rather funny. Luna's food always did taste exotic, usually because it contained something from some insect or plant that may or may not exist. Nicholas no longer questioned it. As always, they let Lysander answer the riddle and then settled themselves in their almost empty common room.

The boys settled themselves in a couch and pulled out their homework. They'd gotten heaps – three 15-inch essays and practice for Charms. Lorcan was finished his first essay for Arithmancy in half an hour, while Nicholas was barely five inches in. As he wrote, he found himself thinking about Lily. A moment later he found himself hating himself for thinking about Lily. But he did – he wondered. He wondered what made her tick. What made her so mysterious to him. And he wondered why he was thinking about her now.

He finished the essay and grabbed another piece of parchment. He had no time to think about Lily. He started to write.

_Dear Cecelia,_

_I'm doing well. Life here is great. Tell Dad that if he thinks it's your fault, remind him who raised you. Tell him to limit himself to two girls a day, and that nobody's blocking the door. Tell Mum I asked her to stop drinking and that I love her. Alex is a prick, just ignore him or fight back. You're not crazy, Cee. It's not you, and it's not the neighbours. It's Mum, alright? Nothing's you._

_Keep brushing up on that spelling. It's really coming along. Lysander sends his love._

_I love you and I miss you too,_

_Love Nicholas._

"I'm going to the Owlery," he said finally as he wrote the final words of his letter. The boys didn't acknowledge his announcement, both of them heavily engrossed in their essays. Nicholas wasn't looking as he headed out through the door and right into Lily.

"What - ?" he asked, stopping short of banging into her and frowning. She gave the smallest smile. "Have you been waiting out here?"

She shrugged. "Not for long." Then she reached out and grabbed his hand, and started off towards the grounds. He followed, frowning but wordless.

Until they entered they entered the couryard, nobody spoke. The grounds only featured sixth and seventh years. "Aren't you supposed to be in class?" Nicholas asked.

"Yes." Nothing else. Still frowning with slight annoyance, Nicholas sighed. She stopped in the corner of the courtyard and sat down. Nicholas followed. He was about to ask her something when she explained. "I didn't feel like Herbology," she said. "I wanted to talk to you. So Neville thinks I'm in the hospital wing."

"Oh… Since when are you on first name basis with the Herbology teacher?" Nicholas said.

She just smiled. "I'm sorry to drag you out of your study session."

"I study too hard anyway." When she just laughed, he said, "You know, I can see why you're a Slytherin. Look at you, skiving classes, pulling sixth years away from their important study timetables - honestly, you're a menace." She laughed loudly, causing several looks to be shot their way. The laughter died down, and Nicholas stared at Lily, who was pointedly refusing to stare back. She pulled her legs to her chest and traced her finger on his leg.

"You know," she said quietly after a few minutes of unbroken silence. "Sometimes I think you're the only person who sees me." She avoided his eyes. Nicholas had nothing to say to that. He wanted to assure her he wasn't, but at the same time felt a swell of… some emotion that he could not quite understand with being the only person she believed to see her. "I mean, Hugo sees me like some supergirl. Who has everything and gets everything, you know? And Sid sees me as an easy shag to pull him up to the top of the food chain, even if I wouldn't touch him in a million years. And the twins see me as this fun little ball of energy who's always there for them to joke with. And to my brother I'm a nuisance and my cousin I'm a slut and to the entire school I'm perfect. And I don't know what I am to you, but I always thought you saw me as me." It was his turn for silence as her words sunk in. He focused on the feel of her small finger on the thigh of his pants as she traced the word _me, _over and over again.

She lifted her eyes to look into his, and he was stuck by how pretty they were. Big and hazel. He'd never looked before. "Oh," he said. She was clearly disappointed in his reaction, because she looked away and stared at a point on the other end of the courtyard. She pulled her legs up tighter and sighed.

"My mum left," she said sharply, as though desperate to prove that she was not how she seemed. But he already knew she wasn't.

"I know," he said coolly. She frowned.

"How?"

"It was in the papers, when it happened. It was huge. Everybody went crazy… didn't you know?"

"Yeah, I did. But I thought maybe you were too young."

He shrugged. "I'm sorry."

"You didn't send her away," she said, smiling weakly. She went back to tracing, but this time on her own leg. Silence ensued, like all their conversations, and was broken by her. "When she left," she started, and Nicholas had to strain to hear, "I stopped talking. Just because I could. And I thought that maybe if I stopped talking to anybody she'd come back. I was seven, it was pretty logical for me. But she didn't come back. And I didn't speak for a month. It freaked my whole family out. Not a word. My dad was an emotional wreck, you should have seen him. He couldn't keep it out of the papers. Eventually I started again, but I never talked as much as I used to. And lately I've started saying less and less, and I don't know why. And nobody's noticed." She stopped, and stared hard at her leg.

"I noticed," Nicholas said quietly. She looked up and met his eyes with a small smile.

"Right, because you're the wallflower, aren't you? You notice everything." She smiled wider this time and then pulled herself up. For a moment, he was tempted to jump up too and kiss her straight on the lips, but the opportunity passed when she gave a small wave and walked away.

* * *

><p>The first thing Ginny noticed when she opened her eyes was that this was not a home. She was surrounded by white walls and she was lying in a very comfortable bed, not to mention feeling like she could run a marathon. There was noise all around her, and as her eyes surveyed the room, she realised she had not been alone for long. The chair beside her was sunken, like it had recently been sat on for a very long time. The curtain was pulled around her, but she could see two pairs of feet just beneath the edge. It was not hard to tell where she was: St Mungo's. Oh, she knew this place well. Sickeningly well.<p>

"… feet and then you can discharge at your will." She could make out voices very close by, and assumed they belonged to owners of the pairs of feet. The first was unfamiliar; the second, however was not.

"Thanks. When will that be?"

"When she wakes up will be a start. There's no lasting damage, no reason to keep her here. If you needed to get out of here in a hurry I'm sure we could wake her magically, it's not advised, but under the circumstances – "

"No, she'll be right."

There was a pause, and Ginny jumped for it, calling out, "Who?"

The curtain swung back, revealling a tall, white-haired unfamiliar healer and Harry, looking as he had the night she had last seen him.

"You," he said bluntly. She could not make out the expression on his face. He came over to her bedside and sunk into the seat. "How are you feeling?"

She pulled herself into a sitting position. "Fine," she said. She addressed the healer. "Discharged, you say?"

"When you're up to it," the healer smiled kindly. Ginny nodded as though absorbing this information.

"Right. Well, I feel great, so does that mean I can – "

"Slow down there," Harry said with a nervous laugh as Ginny tried to jump out of bed. He pushed her back in. The feeling of his hand on her shoulder almost felt like an electric shock.

"I feel fine," she said forcefully, giving Harry a sharp look. He gave her one back.

"Yes, well, if that's the case then you can be discharged this afternoon," the healer said. "It was a simple case of exhaustion and dehydration, probably shock, too. No long term effects, so you're free to go. You'll be checking her out?" he asked Harry. He nodded curtly, and the healer walked away with a small wave.

Ginny said nothing to Harry. It was funny how just moments ago, she'd had a thousand things to say, and now he was here, she didn't want him to be anywhere near her.

"You'll be staying at Grimmauld Place," Harry said. "You'll be seeing a healer twice a week. That is, if you plan on staying. Someone will be with you at all times. Alright?"

Ginny crossed her arms. "I'm not a child, Harry, I don't need to be babysat."

Harry pressed his lips into a thin line. "It's not for _your_ protection."

* * *

><p>Breakfast was a fast affair on Saturday morning. Everybody was at their assigned house tables, rather than all mixed up. This was probably because they were all crowded around their Quidditch captains, firing questions and hearing about conditions and asking their classmates what position they were trying out for. Lily sat with Josie and chewed her toast, listening to Scorpius dribble off facts and guidance for the afternoon. Slytherin trials were just after lunch – not the best time, but at least it wasn't at four, like Hufflepuff.<p>

Lily had done her best to avoid any drama – she couldn't take it. But it followed her nonetheless. Arabella was still mad at her for the hookup, since she had hoped it would be her. She was public enemy number one with the seventh years, who considered Rose and Scorpius to be the golden couple. Scorpius would not look her in the eye, though that was nothing new. Hugo was pissed because he was Hugo; she hadn't said a word to Teddy, and he hadn't chased her up on the issue; nor had she looked at Nicholas since their heart-to-heart the day before, which had earned her a lovely Friday night detention from Professor Longbottom, who realised she was not at the hospital wing after he made Josie go and check on her. Al still seemed adamant on the fact that she didn't exist while he was at school at Sid was being rather distant lately. Basically, she didn't have a friend in the world.

Which was something she was not used to.

* * *

><p>"You trying out?" Albus asked Rose as he shovelled cereal into his mouth.<p>

"Yeah. I put my name down, didn't you see?"

"Oh, right, yeah." He stood up, addressing the whole table. "Gryffindors, listen up! Those of you wanting to try out for the Quidditch team need to be on the pitch by 10:55!" A murmur spread throughout the table as Al sat down and brushed his hands.

"How the fuck did you get Head and Captain?" Rose asked grudgingly.

"Skill, and awesomeness. Something you sorely lack, I'm sorry to say. Pass the marmite? Listen, here's something I wanted to tell you – I was talking to Scorpius last night and I really think you should –"

"Don't."

"Listen, Rosie, this is getting ridiuclous – "

"I don't need a lecture, Al. You're on my side or you're not. What I do need is for you to leave me alone and stop hounding me. This is my fight."

"What happened to _'I need you on my side?'_"

"What happened to _'I'm always on your side?'"_

"I am!"

"Doesn't look like it!"

"Fine. Just keep me out of this pathetic little fight of yours." With that, he grabbed his bag and headed out of the Great Hall. Rose slumped angrily in his absence. She was not alone for long; suddenly another red haired girl joined her, smiling brightly.

"Morning, sunshine." Rose glowered at Lily, not bothering to respond. "Listen, Rose – "

"No."

"What?"

"You said _'listen.' _I said no."

"OK. Whatever. I just wanted to say I'm sorry."

"You have," Rose said coolly. "Several times. But I don't forgive you."

Lily rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Come _on, _Rose, it was a kiss, not like a shag or anything – "

"You're not helping your case."

"You're killing me," Lily said, rubbing her temples.

Rose's lips twisted into a snide smile. "How can I? To me, you're aready dead." Feeling father pleased with herself, Rose watched Lily walk away, clearly hurt.

She didn't stick around and wait for Lily to come back with some great remark; she jumped up and started down to the pitch to kill time. Fighting with everyone had it's drawbacks; she usually liked being by herself, but now all she wanted was company. Being with Scorpius used to mean she never went without it, so it was hard to get used to being alone.

The Ravenclaws were trialling when she got there, like she assumed. She sat on the stands with the rest of the crowds from different houses who had come down to watch the scene. And just her luck – on the other side of the pitch, with another group, was Lily.

She waved. Rose did not.

* * *

><p><strong>And that's all folks! I thought I'd publish it unfinished or not, you know? For shits and gigs. I hope you had a nice time reading. It was nice writing it.<strong>


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